Posted on in frugal, Home, humor, Kids, Lean In, Lean On, Live Lean, Mom, parenting, two moms, Uncategorized, Wordpress

Learning to Live Lean, Lean on and Lean In as two moms and two girls

Subtitle: Not a diet

Maple Acres 2

This has been a tumultuous year (or two) in our family. Loss. Pain. Change. Fear. Panic. Anxiety. Surgery, job loss, death, sweet soul-mate pet losses, friend loss, financial insecurity, personal insecurity, moving out of our home, living week to week, working two jobs, missing my family, start-up sorrows, sleep deprivation…and now, just for fun, lets add mice (of which my partner has the greatest of phobias) in our new humble abode…okay. Bring it on…this is life and we all have our proverbial hand of cards to play.

It’s been messy. It’s been tearful. Well ‘F’ that—we’ve sobbed enough tears this past year; but not enough that they don’t keep flowing. It’s been– the kind of year where you can truly recognize what family means and who your friends are.

Through all of this, there must be some lesson that can help me to redefine what success and failure actually mean. This requires lowering the volume on the often loud, and thunderous narrative that takes place in my head. You know that voice…I am trying with all of my might, wit and Mom-superpowers to fully grasp that feeling like a failure and failing might actually be two different things.

As a family, we’ve had to change a lot about how we live each day and exist in today’s ‘ca-chinging,’ credit card culture. Frugality does not come easy for all. So very hard to do when you have two adorable, loveable and well deserving girls (insert that failure feeling here). So hard to do when it hasn’t always been the way we’ve done our life. When prior salaries have had different places to insert a comma.

Enter the new world of our frugal-foursome, wear we live lean, lean on, and lean in.

Live Lean:

  • Slash the budget and stop the hemorrhage. This requires tremendous discipline in thought and outcome (and the realization that we are still bleeding)
  • Cut the cord—goodbye Comcast, hello Netflix
  • Control has to win over convenience, which is really just a luxurious money suck—Eat home, brown bag lunches, snacks and beverages, avoid quaint coffee culture
  • Sell the house—downsize, move, rent
  • Kill the guilt that fuels spending and brings on a different kind of guilt—make memories, give experiences, learn to live well with less. Discover the joy, contentment and happiness in ourselves and with each other

Lean On:

  • Seek ways to continually course correct our new ‘lean awakening’, leaving senseless squabbles behind
  • Share the burden of stresses that I hold so deep and internal
  • Recognize that ‘thrift maven’ may come in stages for those of us that are more ‘spendy’ and ergo, less frugal

Lean In:

  • Control what I can control
  • Always lead by example
  • Keep my ‘cup half full attitude,’ even when I question the what exactly is in the cup
  • Work hard and make the time to play hard—it’s just as important
  • Set goals together for a purpose, because some may just find the simple act of saving for savings sake boring

Are we better? Are we fixed? No. Are we always on the same page? No. But we are wiser. And with that wisdom, there have been moments, sweet joyous moments of pure bliss.

There’s no going back. Yes, we would like some more financial stability. Yes, we would like less pain, and most certainly (and quickly!) an absence of vermin. But for now, we are where we are and we are constantly becoming who we will be. We are a beautiful work in progress.

We know together that one cannot buy good parenting or good partnering. Frugality and discretion won’t change our love for one another as we walk the path less purchased. We will definitely stop along the way to welcome the happiness in the small moments as they appear.

More to come on this, I am certain.

Out, damned mice.

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25 thoughts on “Learning to Live Lean, Lean on and Lean In as two moms and two girls”

  2. Looking forward to reading more of how you make the frugality work. It’s something that I really struggle with, I have to admit. I have a serious addiction to takeaway coffees that I’m finding it hard to crack! Thanks for linking up with #FabFridayPost

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: The Frugal Foursome Rant: An Update – lisapomerantzster: Are we there yet?

  4. You are such a fighter. Adjusting to everything that makes us uncomfortable is such a great learning curve. I love how you have analyse yourself in your situation – and it is beautifully put. You are calm and in control. You have come so far to make it work for everyone in your family. Keep going Lisa my friend – you have for one such admiration from me. Thank you so much such a personal post with us on #FabFridayPost 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: #FabFridayPost Linky #30 {06.05.16}

  9. Sounds like a tough time. It can be hard to stay positive, so good on you for that attitude. We too have to watch what we spend (or what we dont spend more accurately since theres no money to spend!) – packed lunches, no meals out etc. I find it exhausting to be honest, to never be able to relax and just treat myself or the kids at random. But needs must and it wont be forever hopefully. I hope you’ll have some more tips for me soon! #stayclassy

    Liked by 1 person

  11. keep looking at it the way you are, because its that positivity that will see you through! You’ve got the right attitude and as long as you have each other (and a realistic head on your shoulders) you’ll be fine! Its not always easy but the key is not letting it swallow you up, which agreed, is sometimes easier said than done… but you can get through it, I got faith in you 😉 #momsterlink

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. We will definitely get through this and see the other side. Good luck and bad luck are intertwined and perception is key. 😘✨😘 #momsterlink

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  12. Yes I totally get this! We had such a hard time last year with all things it seemed. Money, stress, work, family problems – it really got me down at certain points. I think its when you get over-burdened with it all but you are right that you must share what it worrying/stressing you. Chin up lovely – good times ahead I’m sure! #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Stay positive. It’s easier said then done, always. But I truly believe that it’s one thing in our lives we can control. How we process life. As for the damn mice I hate those little suckers too and when we get one my husband sets the traps and usually gets them. I can’t even so much look at the trap with the dead and lifeless mouse in it. I’ve seen a lot of bull snakes this year though so hopefully they are getting well fed. Thanks for linking with #momsterslink and I am sending positive vibes your way! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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