The Good, the bad and the ugly truth: My Smile is Back

photo by willowandsage1 follow on instagram
photo by @willowandsage1.  Follow on instagram

Shhhh. I’m kvetching (ranting). It’s Friday.

Good News: My effervescent (not in a gassy way), cheerful, and sunny disposition has been fully restored to my punim (face) as I recently regained the use of my right trigeminal nerve. Yes, I’m a regular Mary Poppins-berg! In short, I’m able to smile, beam, and grin again like the Cheshire cat.

Bad News: Since March, my punim (face) has been fahrkrimpteh (twisted, scowling). My ability to fully smile, while usually a wonderful and somewhat contagious activity, means that the Botox treatment used to treat the nerve pain I experience from occipital neuralgia and cervical dystonia has completely worn off, shy of the 90 day term. Stop what you’re thinking. It’s not ‘that kind of Botox treatment.’ While I have the shoulders, back of my neck and scalp of a 21-year-old female, this punim (face) wears the aged mask of an alta kocker (old fart) from years of living in chronic pain.

The Ugly Truth: Chronic, persistent, prolonged pain sucks ducks. The walking wounded, we amble among you. We are everywhere. We may look just fine, and we are faking feeling great. Botox, actual botulism in a bottle, when administered by the proper neurologist, beautifully battles the suffering. When combined with bionics and meds, I’m the closest to normal I’ve been in decades. A bei gezunt (We should all live and be well)!

Good News: I am 13 12 days until my next treatment. That’s nothing! My cranium will regain its youthful glow as the surrounding nerves freeze and ease, like Elsa in Arendelle. I don’t mind needles or shots. I’m gonna “Let it go.”

Bad News: I am 13 12 days until my next treatment. Depending on how things go with the turbulent barometric pressure, stress, physical activity, posture, and luck of the draw, we’ll see how I feel day to day. How much can I fake it, and how I can avoid impending flares?

The Ugly Truth: This last round was wonderful! I had one or two days at a time when I totally turned off the bionics (occipital stimulator). On the classic pain scale where I (new-normally) live a persistent 6-7, I saw days in this past couple of months where I was a 2. Nu? Me and the Mrs., we were afraid to talk about it…I am amazed that some gantseh macher (big shot, genius) had the gumption to inject this enchanted neurotoxin to freeze nerve endings and reduce wrinkles. Who am I to judge that this mastermind’s first intention was to use his goldeneh hendts (golden hands) to fulfill the vanity needs of aging starlets? En route, there was a common oddity found among those firmer in the face. These maturing movie stars also saw benefits of less head and neck pain? Ah-hah moment!

Good News: Armed with the trifecta of Botox, meds and my stim, I get more days on my calendar than, well ever before. I have more time with the Mrs., Little and Big, more days for work, more days for play. Priceless.

Bad News: In terms of costs, Priceless, not so much. In fact, “OUCH!” This family will feel the pain in an already vulnerable wallet. There is no frugality in Pharma. They expect a lot of gelt (money). What price pain? This round, we will see how my new friends at Allergan pitch in to help.

The Ugly Truth: Soon, when I lose my smile, know how happy I really am. Pain, gay avek (go away) Neuro-paralysis, here I come.


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22 thoughts on “The Good, the bad and the ugly truth: My Smile is Back

  1. I’m so sorry for your pain. I pray you are able to maintain smiles along the way. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, my blogging friend. I enjoy your posts. Thanks for sharing. So many of us blog with our own struggles and the words get published but sometimes, the readers just don’t get it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: The Good, the bad and the ugly truth: My Smile is Back | Making Time For Me

  3. An earlier neurologist I had, was giving me injections for pain on a monthly basis, in my shoulder and back, and then in my neck. After the shots in my neck, I had difficulty holding my head up, and I never returned. I resorted to other methods for pain control, some in medicinal ways, and some that were other ways….

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The shots in my back, and in the back of my shoulder were fine. But when he put shots in my neck, if I started to tip my head forward, it would fall and it was very difficult to lift my head back up.


  4. Hi Lisa,
    1. I love seeing the Pit Stop banner flying here.
    2. I feel like I got to know you better. I am so sorry you’ve had medical problems.
    3. I thought the numbers crossed out was funny.
    4. Thanks as always of your support of the Pit Stop on Twitter.
    Thank you for bringing your post to the Pit Stop last week.
    Janice, Pit Stop Crew


    1. Oh Janice, you made my day! Those are wonderful words you sent to me! I love hanging at the #bloggerspitstop. I learn a lot from you and your crew. I think the blogosphere is filled with some really amzaing people, like you and your crew. Thank You Sincerely! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ouch! That sound very painful – I am glad you are getting treatments for it. I hope you’ll get better soon and that they are allowing you sometimes to recover with pay leaves of course.

    Thank you so much Lisa for linking up with us again on #FabFridayPost xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So many of us take our health for granted. We have it in the back of our minds that we should take better care of ourselves but following through doesn’t always happen. Having a chronic illness that you had no control over is beyond frustrating. Thanks for linking and sharing some of your story with #momsterslink

    Liked by 1 person

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