Can we raise our children to be heroes, not rapists?

No one is allowe to steal those smiles. SHE IS SOMEONE
No one dare steal these smiles. SHE IS SOMEONE

“You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, until today.”

These are just 22 of the words, pulled from seven pages, written so eloquently, so bravely, from the victim of the Stanford rapist, to her rapist, Brock Turner. These words that I have read, have heard on the news this week, literally, took my breath away. This is not about me. This is about a woman wounded so cruelly and ruthlessly, that her world will never be the same.

As for Brock, he will sail through this. His storm will pass. It started with his ridiculously lenient sentence from a judge that responded to his father’s reckless statement regarding ‘20 minutes of action.’ She will live out every day of the rest of her life dealing with the horror and terror she experienced.

“You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, until today.”

I’m a mom in a two-momma household, raising two shana madelahs (beautiful, sweet girls), in a world that is so scary in too many ways. How on earth can we change this deplorable behavior?

If it takes a village, then people, we need to unite now.

We need to raise our kinder (children) to have respect and empathy for every person around us. The onus is now on us to see that our boychiks (little boys) and girlchiks (little girls) grow up knowing that SHE IS SOMEONE; that all girls are SOMEONE. We need to raise all of der kinder to be like those two mensches (decent, good human beings) on bicycles, who came to her rescue. They knew, SHE IS SOMEONE. They were prepared to take action, to stop the heinous wrong. We need to nurture our kinder to speak up and speak out about the evil that lives among us. We need not ever see or hear about another pathetic, nogudnik (one with no morals or ethics) like Brock Turner.

“You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, until today.”

The onus is on us.

What are you doing to raise kinder that know, SHE IS SOMEONE?


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38 thoughts on “Can we raise our children to be heroes, not rapists?

  1. Be honest with them right? Tell them your own struggles, how you made it through, stronger and better!! Everyone has a story to tell. A boy who took advantage of them when they were younger, making it through a trying divorce or simply navigating the waters to find out who we really are. Not being afraid to shout it from a mountain top with pride and honor!! That is what I am doing for all 6 of my children. Raising them to have a voice, to be strong and be proud!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very bold and bravely written! So sorry this has to be on so many hearts and minds right now. I pray your girls grow in a safe environment and know that not all people are like this. May they feel safe and protected. And may you as a mother, have a peace of mind as they become women, to have faith in a world that is losing its faith. ❤️ May God be our comforter and friend!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Can we raise our children to be heroes, not rapists? — lisapomerantzster: Are we there yet? | Making Time For Me

  4. Lisa, this post is so important! Twenty two words. I love that. Parents need to understand their responsibility in raising a child. I actually wrote a post about this last year which I will repost now as I really want to see the world become a safer and friendlier place.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Parenting: Yes and No | simply.cindy

  6. I wanted to reblog this but did not find the reblog button in your post.

    Twenty minutes of action
    The father said
    He had no clue
    About the kid
    He raised
    Destroyed a life
    But it’s only his life
    He did care
    And where was
    The mother
    Through all this

    Liked by 2 people

  7. This is good. It’s important to have these discussions and teach our children be they boys or girls or in-between about the importance of informed consent. It doesn’t have to be complicated. The wonderfully named Rockstar Dinosaur Princess wrote a brilliant article comparing consent to a cup of tea.

    She has also written on the Stanford case

    Worth reading.

    I find it both encouraging and absolutely terrifying that the UK Government is conducting an inquiry into sexual harassment and violence where one of the areas it is looking into is the scale of this problem in PRIMARY schools.

    It starts early. The messages we give to both boys and girls about their interests, opinions and worth.

    This article has some very good points on this:


    Liked by 1 person

  8. I LOVE this! Too much of the percentage of energy spent teaching younglings is about women learning how to protect themselves or how to dress and/or act in order to avoid these situations. As a mom raising one girl and two boys I think it’s equally if not more important to A) teach growing males how to treat their romantic/sexual interests as real people with real feelings and nothing justifies that kind of behavior and B) to teach girls that in no way what-so-ever is rape or being forced OK and if unfortunately it happens, it is in NO WAY their fault. Women need to feel comfortable speaking up. While this case sure is getting a ton of media exposure, so many victims go unheard or are too scared to come forward because they won’t be believed. My hope for the future is that this next generation is able to act and respond differently about rape and victimizing the guilty.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I teach mine to be brave, to stand up for what they believe in, to speak up for those whose voice is quieter then theirs, to admit when they make mistakes and own up to them, to be honest and stay true to themselves. I think that’s all you can do. Thanks for linking up again. #bigpinklink.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Excellent piece, Lisa. The way I see it is like this: we have to teach both our boys and our girls about our rape culture. Boys have to have this nonsense trained out of them (and we have to find ways to keep it from getting trained into them in the first place), by parents who want to avoid having their kids grow up into monsters. Girls need to learn that some boys will always continue to be predators (and some parents will not see any value in training their kids otherwise, thinking their football player son is a great kid who would never do any harm), and that, unfair as it is, there will continue to be double standards, we will continue to blame victims, predators will continue to get wrist-slaps after brutalizing another person. People need to protect themselves. That said, what is an unconscious person to do, as in this case? Can we always, every second, every moment, be on guard, be perfectly vigilant; and is that healthy, especially in a nation that is experiencing an historically low level of crime? This is another problem that has no ultimate solution; but we can at least make the world a little better by talking to our families, friends, communities, and leaders about these concerns and issues. Your post, here, is a good communication in that capacity.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I truly hope I am raising my girls strong enough to stand up for themselves and to cope with what the world throws at them. I truly hope I am doing the same for my son. I hope I am also teaching them all to respect themselves and others, to value their bodies and the bodies of others. As a victim of abuse and rape myself I fight to make my children strong as well as to be strong myself. Thank you so much for sharing this post with me at #mg

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Mackenzie. Your awareness based on your history leads one to believe that you are. Bravo to you. We must raise #mightygirls and gentle men. It’s a long road but the conversation is out there. Thanks for hosting and having me at your kinky! #mg


  12. This is so good and so true. We need to teach our children to do better and to be better than us. Otherwise what’s the point? I am all for teaching our children to challenge everything, to consider everything! well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I absolutely agree and as a mom of two boys, and a survivor myself, I take great care to raise my boys to respect others regardless of gender, race, religion, and so forth. It’s so important that we, as parents, make the conscious effort to teach our children how to be kind and respectful adults. How else are we ever going to change anything if we don’t? Love your post! Popping over from #momsterlink


  14. I’m raising 3 boys and 2 girls. One boy is actually grown and will be going into the Army in August. The next is a 16 year old who I am trying to teach that he should be a gentleman and respect his girlfriend even if starting with walking her to the door after a date. My youngest boy is 6. My two oldest are my stepsons and will forever be dealing with their egg donor abandoning them. A whole other blog post I’ve been waiting to write. But my 6 year old, opens the door for his sisters and I, is protective of his younger sisters, and I was thanked by his teacher for how I have raised him so far. I only hope I can continue that greatness. But when it comes to my daughters I feel the need to already start them in defense classes instead of ballet at the age of 4 and 5. And if there was a class in this small town of mine I absolutely would. I fear the world they are growing up in where the statistics are already against them. Thank you for sharing this with #momsterslink as it’s a very strong topic amongst bloggers lately. No one can hear unless the voices of those who are angry at our justice system speak out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Parenting is tough business. It sounds like you are spot on, and that is wonderful. I’m with you on the defense classes. The world is so hard for girls, women, in too many ways. It really has to change. Thanks so much for reading and sharing this post of mine. As moms, we need to shout from the rooftops. The stats are just too brutal to bear. #momsterlink

      Liked by 1 person

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