The simple truth about my guilt packing a pistol

Anyone who knows me knows that I despise guns. I believe the right to bare arms has been totally misconstrued from a constitutional amendment that stands for a well-armed militia, hundreds of years ago, vs. ‘I’m scared of you and your pack of skittles,’ or, ‘your tail light is out; get me your license and registration.’ ‘Nuf said. You can read many of my other posts pontificating on the excessive violence, racism and hate in our world.


I feel quite the hypocrite. I have a puppy. His name is Gatsby. Yes, after the Great Gatsby. He is the first real dog we have had. He chews on the wood trim and doors. He buries and hides his bones throughout the apartment. He digs holes outside in the common areas. He climbs the sofa and leaps to the kitchen counter (really) to eat the scraps of a peanut butter sandwiches left over from Big. He puppy-nips at Little for, well, being Little. He scavenges for food as we walk around the neighborhood.

Enter this pistol packing, gun-toting, and charlatan of a Yiddisher Momma. To clarify, the arms I carry is a water pistol / squirt gun. It is used purely for correctional puppy purposes. It shoots sprays a stream of water from afar, alerting my dear, loveable mutt that he is acting less than the stellar boychik (little boy) we need him to become.


A happy puppy is a well-exercised puppy. This also fits in with the lifestyle of this Yiddisher Momma. As we gad about the ‘hood, Gatsby is an incessant barker when he spies another pup. He is fantastically friendly, yet simply desperate to meet a new buddy. The yapping, more like a geshrei (quite loud and piercing), ceases the moment he is nose to nose with a new canine comrade. Where their noses go after, they should live and be well. But until that point, vey iz mer (OMG!)…

I hadn’t yet mentioned that he is a rescue. Here, the term is dual in nature. We rescued him because he was in need of a loving family and a home, and he rescued us, as our family was in dire need of an affectionate and playful pooch. We all make a nice family.

The boychik (little boy) of the family!

As a rescue, he rummages for food, no matter how many times we fill his bowl with healthy, raw, canine cuisine. If left to his own devices, he will eat pure dreck (trash, poo, bugs, vomit, grass, and dead things), along with anything else in reach. Just last week, I pulled from his mouth, a small dead bird, 4 chicken (oh my, I hope so at least) bones, many wood chips, and did I mention the deceased fowl?

After much reading, and searching our memories of pugs past (Atticus and Elijah), we remembered the squirt tactic. I searched high and low for an affordable ‘squirter’ that did not resemble a G-U-N. Fifteen years ago we had an alligator and a snail, or a flower… that delivered the same watery lesson. But the lifeless, leathery bird was too much mishegas (craziness) for me to bear. This frugalista had to do something fast and furious. I entered the Family Dollar, and found 3 shiny, colorful water guns: red, green and yellow. They were small enough to carry, big enough to do the job. All for one dollar.

We can now walk for an hour or more, and have maybe, 2 squirts, mostly related to over-barking. We can walk right past that mummified mouse, covered in ants. Newfound wisdom allows him to dodge the remains from the Colonel’s chicken bucket. It’s a remarkable transformation for which we are all kvelling (bursting with joy)!

But I am still packing. So if any of you are aware of some affordable arms that hold no resemblance to those ghastly items I loathe, do tell! Gatsby and me, we are a work in progress.







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36 thoughts on “The simple truth about my guilt packing a pistol

  1. Haha! I love Gatsby. My Dad have to invest in a water gun as pigeons like to cover their house and patio and car in bird poop. Now he runs out there, everytime he sees one and squirts his water pistol at them! Not sure what the neighbours make of it. I hope that you find a water gun that isn’t a water gun soon! #FridayFrolics

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    1. He is a character indeed! He has made us so happy since the loss of our little pugs. I’ll update you on the packing! This am he tried for two bones and a slice of pizza. Maybe time for another litter post? Ty Carla! #fridayfrolics


  2. Gatsby is so cute! Such a character. I wasn’t sure at first with my kids using water gun at the Thai New Year Festiva, but since everyone was using it – I think it spoke “fun” and not “violence”. How about a water spray bottle but I don’t think that would last long or not as forceful enough?! Hope you’ll find one soon.🙂 Thanks for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost Bless Gatsby!🙂 xx

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  3. Gatsby is adorable! reminds me of my childhood dog, we got her as a puppy, she destroyed half a sofa, a washing machine & managed to pull up an entire kitchen flooring, all whilst only being this pot bellied pup haha.


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  4. Haha – I also hate guns, & I have never had a dog so not had to use water guns either! Though now wondering if that technique would work to train my toddlers! I actually think you’ve hit upon the solution to gun control issues in the US here, though. Clearly someone needs to get out their marker & subtly alter the constitution so it refers to the right to bear water arms. There’d be a lot of soggy people, but the death toll should decrease!

    Thanks so much for linking up to #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you next time!

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  5. Hah! He sounds like a real character but he looks so cute and innocent! Loved your post as usual, it made me giggle. I can just imagine you squirting at him. #bigpinklink

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  6. haha he is adorable, I should say ADORABLE!!!!! I am not a fan of guns at all, but a water pistol is fine by me, we have Holly-Rose our rescue and 3 rescue cats. We did have another rescue dog, but sadly it didn’t work out as he was too aggressive and bit Adam on the face. He has been through intensive training now and has a new family! #mg

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  7. I used to squirt my naughty doc with a cleaner sprayer container full of water. It never worked. He eventually just grew out of all his bad behavior. Love the water gun idea! Thanks for linking with #momsterslink and hope to see you tomorrow!

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  8. We used to use a full size spray bottle (think plant watering) with our dog which worked a treat when he was up to no good. I can see that this wouldn’t be too practical, although my three year old has a fabulous “Nuby Squirty Squid” which might just do the trick? If nothing else it would definitely raise a few giggles while you’re out walking🙂 Thanks for linking with #fartglitter x

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  9. Oh first of, your little pooch is truly adorable. I just want to pinch him and keep him as my own pet. I really hope this technique works for you soon so you are a little more at ease. Have you tried maybe an old spray bottle (the type that cleaning products some in) or is this too big? My nan used this to stop her cats from scratching the furniture #fartglitter

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