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UPDATE: The Rule of Kind

Silly shvesters
Silly shvesters

A Kinder Kinder 

I thought now a good time to provide you all with some good, hard data anecdotal evidence on how we are doing as a family, with our one, single, solitary family rule: BE KIND. Some of you may recall this inspired post meant to get our little mishpocheh (family) out from under the tiny terroristic grip of Big and Little’s mood swings, urges and tantrums and back to the matriarchal quasi-control of the mamelehs (me and the Mrs.).

It was mid-August. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. We were feeling the worst of the heat, reeling from the weariness of endless pool days and we had hit the ceiling on late night movies. The kinderlech (kids) and the Mrs. had become nocturnal. By the time I joyfully strolled up the Manor steps after a hard days work, it was batshit crazy with a capital BAT all hell had broken loose. We had grown accustomed to our tsuris (troubles). It was pure mishegas (insanity and chaos).

Dos leben iz vi kinderhemdel—kurts un bash. Life is like a child’s undershirt—short and soiled.

Shvesters and goodies
Shvesters and sugar

Be Kind. How f@cking hard is that to do? I knew we could do it. I believed. The first coupla’ weeks were exhausting and awful filled with tears, apologies and repetition of our golden rule. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind.

Siri, How long until something basic, simplistic, and all encompassing becomes a damned habit?

It’s a shondah (pity) how my Little and Big, such sweet little maidelahs (girls), put each other through fisticuffs, scuffles, scrapes and screeches. Glass shattering screams, pushes, slaps and hair pulling. (It’s almost as if they had watched old reruns of Dynasty from the ’80’s?) I cried me a river. So did the nextdoorikeh’s (neighbors).

Time went on, as it does. We stuck to our one rule. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Patience. We had such effing patience! We were so very, very virtuous with all of our patience. And then, it started. 

  • Listening ears, they listened
  • We heard ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’ fairly consistently
  • ‘I’m sorry’ flowed from their tiny little mouths appropriately and sincerely
  • Random acts of kindness happened without begging, yelling, nudging, cajoling any parental prodding
  • When Little ate all of her marshmallows before the hot chocolate was ready, Big happily handed her a handful of hers
  • When Big cried about not wanting to take a shower, Little volunteered to take one with her
  • They shared
  • If one was in need, the other helped
  • When one hurts, the other says, Vu tut dir vai (where does it hurt)?
  • If we said clean your room, they did it together

It was working. Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind. Slowly and steadily our kinder (children) began to treat each other as if we were not behind the walls of the Manor, but as if we were in public and on their best behavior! They began to give one another the benefit of the doubt. My little bubbelah’s (term of endearment) were becoming menches (good, respected people) to one another. Loving shvesters (sisters), friends.

Shvesters plotting
Shvesters plotting

Now, I do not for one minute want you to think that we are all hotsy-totsy and blissful over here. We still have plenty of our moments. We will always have work to do and we still can be kinder, gentler, nicer and more empathetic. But so far, dos gefelt mir (this pleases me) very much! I’m kvelling (oozing with pride)!

Be Kind. Zeit gezunt (Be healthy)!

Linky’s:

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Friday Frivolity button

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65 thoughts on “UPDATE: The Rule of Kind”

  3. Woo Hoo! Well done! I know how that teaching can take forever to be installed into them. My littles have not master that yet! lol! Thank you Lisa for sharing with us on #FabFridayPost again. Have a lovely weekend. xx

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    1. Oh Claire, it takes years before listening ears even register a moms voice. We are like air, taken for granted. But persistence and calmness gets through. Thanks for hosting a great linky! #FridayFrolics xoxo

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    1. Wow, thank you so much. The hardest job in the world and I would never ever give it up. The most rewarding too! Truth is sometimes we suck, but that’s what makes us good too! 🙂 Have a super weekend! #FabFridayPost

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  8. What is the rule again? 28 days or something like that until a habit becomes more permanent? Fingers crossed that you can make it past that hurdle!!! 😉

    Seriously, good for you for putting emphasis on something so essential to peace and harmony in the family.
    #FabFridayPost

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    1. We started at first with a massive list and I knew that was a recipe for disaster. No hitting, no screaming, no pushing….it was overwhelming. After much thought, I realized ‘Be Kind’ covered everything. It was a basic filter for behaviors that we wanted to strive for, it was easy to remember, and easy to stress. Thanks so much for your comments and stopping over! #FabFridayPost

      Liked by 1 person

  10. This is so good. Your children will remember those values that you are talking about for the rest of their lives. Imagine the world we could live in if every child was taught kindness!! And I had a good chuckle over ‘ask Siri’…. don’t you wish sometimes that Siri had the answers for those tough parenting questions?

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    1. Thanks so much Cindy. We are trying our best! And as for Siri, don’t think I havent tried…. 🙂 You gotta laugh through this whole process. I too often think about a world where everyone stresses kindness and empathy. What a wonderful place that would be… Thanks for reading. Hope you have a wonderful weekend. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  13. It sounds so simple, but yet when you have to think about whether or not you’re being kind in everything you say and do it takes on a whole new concept.

    Thank you for sharing this with us on the #FridayFriolity party. We hope to see you next Thursday at 9pm EST.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Wonderful! How long do they say to introduce something until it becomes a habit…? This is living proof that perseverance pays off. How refreshing and uplifting to hear – thank you for sharing this. Alison x mg

    Liked by 1 person

  24. My sisters and I used to bicker and fight when we were younger. But now we are the best of friends. It sounds like your new mantra is working!
    I enjoy reading your posts. I like your writing style. Thanks for sharing #GlobalBlogging

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  25. I adore this post, it gives us hope that if we drum things into them they can listen and take on board what us parents are saying. Kindness seems so simple, yet it can at times be so hard, when we are tired and irritated, it can be hard to feel kind, yet the minute we turn away from anger and towards kindness our whole day can turn around! I was so frustrated with Aspen yesterday, I felt she was being very ungrateful, she realised (after I told her) that she was in the wrong and apologised, yet I still felt annoyed, I needed a moment, I decided to turn the day around and with kindness in my heart, I did just that, we needed up having a gorgeous day. Great post lovely xx #mg

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  29. Good on you, Lisa! This is such an excellent sentiment. Isn’t it wonderful when siblings and the whole family get along? I admit I have tried many times and have failed on this but persist we must. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  30. That is awesome! Goooooood work, I will need to practice this with my son when he’s older, or maybe I could start now even?! He gets it I think? (He’s 10 months) He moves his head side to side saying No lol I don’t think he knows what it actually means but he gets me! Haha your girls sound very lovely and I always love seeing the photos of them, they look genuinely happy all of the time : ). Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging!

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