I found myself in tears last night

Mighty girls become strong women
Mighty girls become strong women

Hello all. This is a post for a dear blogger friend. She does not live in the US. She did not get to vote in our election. Yet incredibly, she found herself in tears discussing the outcome. I know that the Mrs. and me spent a great deal of time crying. I think we are grieving and in mourning too. It feels like a death has happened. The death of progress, hope, equality. We are left with misogyny, racism, xenophobia, sexual assault, bullying and hate for religious freedom and the disabled.

Without further ado, please read this brave, real, honest post from my friend in the ether-world, Mac at reflectionsfromme.com .

Women all over, please know that together, we are stronger. We have a voice.

This is Mac. Check out her blog at mac@reflectionsfromme.com
This is Mac. Check out her blog at reflectionsfromme.com

I am not American, and I am first to admit I know very little about American politics. I am not going to pretend I am an expert or that I have followed the campaign closely enough to write a highly educated post. Admittedly I know little about Hilary, I know little about Donald and I have even less knowledge on the other candidates.

What I do know though is I found myself in tears last night. Unexplained tears. I was talking to my mother over the phone and I found myself starting to cry, I was shocked. Somehow this vote left me feeling extremely vulnerable and brought feelings out in me that I was surprised by, feelings I thought I had dealt with many years ago. Yet somehow hearing that Donald Trump was to be America’s President tore open old wounds, and left me feeling violated as a woman, and as a mother.

To say it upsets me is an understatement, I, and I am sure many other women and men are in shock! I feel disgusted, and I feel let down. I am not naive enough to believe that women have equality in this world, far from it. I am blessed to have been born in a country, and a point in time where women where I live have it pretty great. I guess in some way though this is what gave me the false sense of security that a person like Donald Trump could not be seen as a leader. Don’t get me wrong I am not in any way saying Hillary was not voted in because she is a woman and I understand that she is not well liked by many Americans, this post is not about her. It is about how let down I feel as a woman, no scrap that not just as a woman, it is about how let down I feel as a human being that anyone would support a man who can be OK with talking about grabbing a woman by her “pussy”, and how they let him do it to them because he has fame, because he is a “star”! He can talk about trying to “fuck” his words not mine, married women as if it is his right to sleep with anyone he pleases. And apparently he doesn’t wait to start kissing someone he just does it!

Oh and here is another Donald Quote, he tweeted,

“26,000 unreported sexual assaults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?”

I mean what is he saying Here? Because it sure sounds to me like he is saying that of course women should expect to be sexually assaulted if they are part of the military? And what is it saying about Men? As a woman this disgusts me, and if I was man I would be so offended!

This is a man who openly insults women, who has even gone as far to say that if his own daughter wasn’t his daughter that he would be dating her! I mean what father says that????? It is sickening! It is fine to acknowledge your child is attractive, but that you would date them is just a weird statement to make in my opinion.

I am not saying that Hillary Clinton is perfect, and I know that people saw Donald Trump as the better of two bad choices, but I just don’t understand how they can justify that thought? As a mother I want my daughters to be respected, not looked upon as sexual objects, as a mother I want my son to know he deserves respect and that he must also respect women and their right to say no to any unwanted advances. I want both my daughters and my son to see everyone as equal and know everyone deserves to be treated with respect regardless of their gender, financial status, colour of their skin, or sexual preferences.

Like I said I am not an American and I don’t live there so who am I to judge anyone who voted for Trump? I know you had your reasons, I know that many Americans are scared and live in fear especially after September Eleven. But still, I just can’t understand voting in Trump. I feel so confused. I don’t feel I could ever vote for someone with such a vulgar opinion of women. I would never want my daughters to think I would vote for a man who speaks about women that way. I would never want my son to look up to the leader of his country as a role model. I feel like voting in Trump is like saying “hey men of the world you can treat women however you want and still lead a great country like America”! “You know what go ahead and insult women, grab them by the pussy, kiss them without permission and you will be rewarded with the presidency”! Is this a joke????

Mummy why are women not treated the same as men?"
“Mummy why are women not treated the same as men?”

Maybe I am being too sensitive? Because clearly the majority of voters didn’t see it that way. They excused his behaviour, or as a close friend of mine who is an American citizen said that she voted for Trump “despite his many character flaws” because he offers something “different” which she and many others believe America needs. I understand that, but still I struggle to excuse or ignore his character flaws. I can’t justify his character flaws. I know my friend and she has the most beautiful heart, she wouldn’t be my friend otherwise. She is very intelligent and works very high up in the Nursing Industry, but still I feel let down by her. Very few people know this about me, but I was raped and beaten on a regular basis by a boyfriend when I was 19 – 20. Me saying NO made no difference! Me screaming and fighting meant nothing to him. I lived in fear daily, and it was a dangerous situation whether I stayed or left. I left, but it didn’t stop, I was stalked and attacked for a long time after. I have now been safe for 14 years. Although something like that never really leaves you, hence why I use a pseudonym for my blog (something I only revealed a little while ago). Like I said hardly anyone knows, but my friend knows and it blows my mind that she can vote for a man who seems to think sexual attacks on women is expected! I am not mad at her, I am not mad at Americans, I just feel sad. I thought we had come further than that. What scares me is that Americans and many people around the world think he is the only choice. It makes me feel like we are all running scared, that Americans are so in fear of where their country is headed that the feel the only choice is to vote for Trump.

I hope he helps America, I hope that he does amazing things and heals the country. I hope he is the best leader we have seen so far! I truly do! I also hope that he realises upon reflection that he has treated women badly, that he has made men look bad, and woman look weak, and I hope he apologises for his disgusting behaviour. I hope he can become a positive role model, that he can lift men and women up and stop putting them down. Is that possible I don’t know? I honestly am not sure a man like him can ever see himself as wrong. But I hope I am wrong about that!

This man sickens me, but more than that it just breaks my heart that amazing strong women, intelligent people have somehow excused his behaviour, that they believed it was justified to vote for a man who has no moral compass. I am left baffled. We need leaders who stand up for equality, who want to heal our world, is Trump that man? Is Trump the man I would want my children seeing as a role model, someone to set your morality standards upon? NO. I could not vote for him and look my children in the eye and say “Mummy is proud of her vote”.

Last night my daughter who is 12, asked me right before she went to sleep, “Mummy why are women not treated the same as men?” I knew this was an important question. I knew my answer would set a standard for her, yet I didn’t know how to answer. I hadn’t discussed the election with her, but she had heard things at school. It is a topic I really need to talk to her about, but it was late and I needed to really think. I told her we would sit down and have a big chat about it, but in the meantime I told her that

“Women are strong, we are intelligent and amazing, and that we are equal to any and every man.”

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44 thoughts on “I found myself in tears last night

  1. Wow! Mac, that was so heartfelt and beautiful. I wrote a post about my vote and that I didn’t vote for either one. I don’t trust Hilary to do whats best for this country. I didn’t see her as being the right woman to bring the change this country so desperately needs but I most definitely wasn’t going to choose Trump and for the same reasons you mentioned. In fact, when the news broke that he won, my boys were up and they were so upset that they were scared. As an American I get the fear and I realize our country needs a major change but I also have a hard time understanding how fear has taken over so many to the point of electing such racist, sexist, bigoted, narcissistic bully. It boggles my mind, it really does. There are always two other candidates on the ballot and I voted for one of them after doing a lot of painstaking research because well, the media doesn’t cover those other candidates. They don’t because the government wants us to feel we have no other choice than to vote either Republican or Democrat. It is definitely a rigged system. Unfortunately, I don’t see it changing anytime soon. Like you though Mac, I am hoping that he surprises us all and truly becomes the President and the leader we need. I’m doubtful but still hopeful. I guess you could say I’m being cautiously optimistic. Such a wonderful post! Thank you Lisa for sharing this on your blog. #momsterlink

    Liked by 2 people

  2. HI,
    Not sure if I’m writing to Lisa or the author, but it doesn’t matter.
    I live in what used to be the Good Ole USA. No more. I have three daughters. That is irrelevant. The thought that anybody could vote to have a leader without any moral compass disgusts and baffles me. How can he make America great again (his words) when we already have more crimes against Jews (I read two threats against Jews on Twitter this week), Muslims, and Latinos (some in my own state of CA). America is already WORSE and he isn’t even in office yet.
    Can’t something be done?
    I heard he raped a 13 year old child who had scheduled a press conference before the election but cancelled after receiving death threats. Can’t she come forward now? A convicted criminal can’t be in the White House.
    I heard the Electoral College meets to confirm his appointment in January. Where are lobbyists to put pressure on them?
    Riots do nothing. There should be some plan.

    Like

    1. Janice, I am devastated. As a woman, as a jew and as a lesbian. There are so many ways the future looks bleak, I can’t begin to listthem. I hope that I am dreadfully and stupendously wrong in my outlook! And Mackenzie, she is wonderful and I thank her for sharing this on my site. M’wah Janice! xoxo #mg #bloggerspitstop

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I could not agree with you more. On Wednesday I felt so depressed, as did many women where I work as we discussed this. I just felt so down about humanity and the world in general, which is a lot to worry about! As you say I know to most Americans there were 2 choices and they both sucked. But I fundamentally cannot understand for a second that someone could vote for a man that is openly racist, sexist, bigotted and homophobic, it’s like a bad joke. Although I always feel if you have an opinion then you should always vote but I wish the anti-establishment voters had just abstained.
    Lets just hope this is a wake-up call for politics in general everywhere, that something needs to change. So many feel they are not represented by anyone which is why something like this was able to happen.
    #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think the whole world outside of the US was in tears that night. The reports I’m reading of people being attacked in the street for being female, muslim, black, gay or pretty much anything else is alarming. The shaking world is in a very delicate balance. It is grave concern. #Stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am British and I thought the Brexit mess was bad enough, it made me feel bad about my country for the blatant racism that had been highlighted by the media. Then I saw the US election result and I was even more devastated, despite being across the world, because that man should never have been allowed to run in the first place, due to his ‘character flaws’. I feel someone who is going to be in a seat of such power should be someone who is proven to have an exemplary moral character. I am deeply disappointed. #momsterslink

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Whilst on holiday in America a few weeks ago we were regularly asked by Americans how we felt about Brexit and what our views were on the upcoming US election, as it was at the time. There were so many that were worried about how the world would perceive them and their country if Trump was voted in. I cannot understand any woman that would vote for such an abhorrent individual but there were many who did and in our conversations that we had over there, many women were also shocked at how “wanting something different” was enough of a reason to vote for him. This is lazy voting as it was in the UK with Brexit but in this case it feels just so much worse as he is so personally vile and morally bankrupt. Everyone likes to give people the benefit of the doubt but it is tough in this case. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post Lisa and Mackenzie for sharing such personal events. #globalblogging

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  7. I completely understand your spontaneous crying. I have felt very strange since the election, because I feel totally undermined as a female. I feel that our already precarious position in society has been undermined yet again. I feel that girls will be confused about role models in a world where there was already plenty of confusion. Sad times. Alison x

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you Lisa for sharing this. Mac – this is such a great post and well put. I must say you are more elegant than me in many ways as I seem to have nothing but fuel with angry and frustrations more than anything. I am so sad for America and this is just beyond me. I don’t understand it either. 😦 But yes, your message is an important one and we must work on that. xx

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us on #FabFridayPost

    Like

  9. What a strong and honest post. I really never discuss politics or religion with people but I do have faith in humanity. I believe that everyone deserves a chance. And although I may not agree with some of the things Trump has said and that I also don’t believe all social media…I do believe in accepting the outcome of our electoral process and moving on. And continuing to raise MY children to be good, honest, respectful and KIND human beings. Thanks for sharing with #momsterslink.

    Liked by 1 person

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