Posted on in #funny, Kids, two moms, Uncategorized, Wordpress

The well-worn path to the fridge

Now this guy, he is a fresser and a nosher

To say my kinder (kids) like to nosh (snack) is like saying the Pope, he is Catholic. Who doesn’t like a nice nosh (little something to eat….). My Little, she will even quote ‘Winnie the Pooh,’ and ask, “Can I just have a little smattering of something.”  Now, no Jewish momma even this atheist Jewish momma is going to want to hear the geshrei (cry, moan scream) of hunger from their babes. Essen, bubbelah (Eat Sweetheart). It’s what we grew up hearing. You’re tired? Eat. You’re sad? Eat. You’re angry? Eat. You’re __________ (insert any feeling, emotion, TV show, a brand of car, celebrity, a sign of the zodiac, etc. and the answer in a Jewish home is always, EAT!) Eat. Stuff those emotions down your throat with a nice shmear (a robust portion of cream cheese) and lox (smoked salmon) on a bagel. Mind you, before dinner, Little, she had a nice plate of lox. 

Noshers and fressers (those you can eat freely and copiously, no reserve!). That is what happens on movie night in our apartment. And last night, was no different. Vey iz mir (OMG), it’s a non-stop fridge free-for-all, where they stare like a deer in the headlights with the refrigerator door wide open — as if a spell has been cast upon them. Let me share with you a bissel of the essen (little of the eating) that transpired. 

First, a nice meal. All of us sitting down together almost civil. Gatsby, he is circling, waiting for the crumbs to fall. We had a healthy, organic, vegan meal of Nona’s homemade lentil soup, bean burrito’s, roasted cauliflower, carrots, hummus — a nice spread albeit a little windy for all. We decide to rent Cinderella, the new-ish one. Dim the lights, roll the show, and…

I’m hungry (in unison)! Can I have something to eat?

Mind you, we barely finished the dishes. And so, being Saturday night and all, we live big! The girls, they each have an ice cream sandwich (the very best of sandwiches in my book). Cue the film. Take 2!

I’m hungry (in unison)! Can I have something to eat?

Something healthy, I cry…

My little, she brings the bowl of carrots over to the sofa and they crunch, munch and chew. Once the bowl was empty:

I’m hungry (in unison)! Can I have something to eat? Can we have another Ice Cream sandwich?

No madeleh.

Can you make these bisquits?

No sweetheart. I’m not going to potchke (to fuss, and/or cook) in the kitchen now, after already making a nice dinner. Are you f**king kidding me?

Can I have that cake from Thanksgiving? 

Not bloody likely! How about a squeezy-yogurt, honey? Breathe they’re just kids and they are growing

The squeezy-yogurts are from the freezer, so this should buy us at least ten minutes of movie time. Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock.

My Little, she then shouts, “Can I have a pickle?”

Sure.

Big chimes in, “Me too?”

Of course.

I gotta let you know, they killed that entire jar of pickles. Gone. Gornisht. Bubkas left.

On a normal day, this Jewish momma would be thrilled with a nosh of roasted cauliflower…

Little, she is still whimpering and is about to ask Alexa for the phone number to the department of childhood injustices, when she opts for a bowl of roasted cauliflower. I warn her that her belly is going to really start to make tsuris (trouble) for her and us. This is just too much. And this combination, oy, her kishkas (intestines) will be in an uproar. Now, you must remember, She’s got pipes. One bowl of cauliflower. Two bowls of cauliflower. At least this is some healthy sh*t she is eating!

Big, she starts stirring are they even watching the movie? and opens some almond butter granola bars before anyone notices. So of course, Little, she now wants some jalapeno blue corn chips.

ENOUGH! THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED! Itisafter10pmatnightandyouhavenotstoppednishingWearegoingtowatchtheendofthismoviebrushandflossourteethandgotobedTherewillbenocryingoutformorefoodYouareeatingoutofboredomorhabitormaybeagiantmomfailonmypartDoyouevenknowwhatishappeninginthismovieNexttimewewatchamovieitisonesnackOnesnackandthatisitOneDoweallunderstandJesusChristYesAtheistJewssaythistoo

And then, not ten minutes later, in bed, our Little, she says: MommyEma (an endearing term for us both), my belly hurts. No smoking gun here…

       
      
      
  

68 thoughts on “The well-worn path to the fridge”

  3. Ha ha – I love your commentary on a Jewish family and the solution always being food! Maybe I come from some Jewish heritage too in the distant past then because I tend to see eating as the solution to all too! It’s great your kids eat such a variety of food. I am constantly battling against the call for sweets and biscuits always suggesting fruit! #thesatsesh xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yes, you could be describing my family. When I was little one packet of crisps and a small chocolate bar was the biggest treat ever, and that was once a week! #mg

    Liked by 1 person

  8. A family member and I were just lamenting about our rather large grocery bills; she has littles and I have all tweens and teens… I told her it doesn’t get any better. It’s amazing how much they really can eat!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I wish my son would eat more. He is just not interested in food and I have to bribe him to eat a meal. We get there in the end, but I don’t think that he has ever said that he is hungry. Pen x #mg

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wow! I thought my boys were bad. Well, my youngest is that bad, lol. Every ten minutes he’s eating something. What is it about movies that makes them want to eat the entire house? I don’t remember being that bad as a kid, haha! #mg

    Liked by 1 person

  13. ahh yes the endless appetite of these little growing people! They eat breakfast and they are already asking what are we having for dinner tonight, life is ruled by food! Thanks for linking up with #mg and also I am coming over from #highlightsofhappy

    Liked by 1 person

  14. My eldest has perfected the deer in headlights, whilst standing with the fridge and freezer doors open.

    Hell been announce there’s nothing in it to eat. Translation. There’s nothing I can just pick up and eat. Because preparing it is just too much effort!

    #mondaystumble

    Liked by 1 person

  17. #thesatsesh being British we solve everything with a cup of tea…kids are so odd about food fads, morals and food etiquette, at the moment my son is obsessed with jacket potatoes, if he eats any more he may become 100% carb.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Ha!! This is hilarious!! My two year old takes eleven items of food in his lunchbox to the childminder’s, so I feel your pain!! ELEVEN!! He’s not even there for breakfast or dinner, just the bits in between!! I hope they’re not eating you out of house and home!! Thanks for linking this to #DreamTeam!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Me and little are kindred spirits, during movie nights im all about snacking a little from many things, crisps, cheese, sweets, chocolate peanuts, jelly babies, halva, banana chips and more! Who needs dinner when you have snacks?! hahahaha!
    Thanks for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. My littlest spends the hours of 6am to 3.30pm saying “Can I ‘av wumthin else?”. And then from 3.30 until bed time he’s “got a full tummy”. Technically he has one meal a day. Just a 53 course one! 😉 x #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

  26. #thesatsesh ops this is me 😦 lol….blooming fridge haha, also i hide things i like so the boys can’t find them, why…example: today i bought a box of clementines, placed them in a bowl on the table – so far 2 of them have eaten 8 clementines!!!! nobody needs that much vitamin C

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Hahaha this sounds like my big girl – she is ALWAYS hungry. As soon as she wakes up, she’s asking what I’m going to be making for meals that day, and as soon as I pick her up for school, she’s hunting in my coat pockets for a snack! #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

  30. My bubby is crazy about toast. If it’s not on toast or a toast accompaniment he’s not interested. My niece is never hungry. Until dinner is done and it’s dessert time.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Roasted cauliflower! Now there is a snack! You are a woman after my own heart. I cannot understand my teens at all. They eat constantly. My only respite currently is my eldest being at University but I know as soon as he returns he will be eating me out of house and home and “the kitchen is closed” will once more be my daily mantra. #ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

  32. lol! That’s so funny! I’m so impressed at how much she can eat. I used to have ice cream sandwich all the time when I was a kid, but E&E find it really disgusting! lol! The roast cauliflower sound really interesting. Yumm! Happy Eating!

    Thanks for linking up with us again Lisa. xx #FabFridayPost

    Liked by 1 person

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