Vey iz mir. (OMG.) I am in the midst of what can only be a true epic mom-fail. I need your help. You see, I believe, no matter what you are doing, how big or how small the act, you must always set up the next person for success? Nu? Is this so hard?
Let me get to the point. No matter which bathroom, loo, water closet I enter, I am often always left high and dry. You know, you rush in for a tinkle, hope that maybe, just maybe, you can pass water in peace. Alone. The door won’t fly open with a concern, a to-do needing arbitration, a question like, “What are you doing, mommy?” Just trying to pee alone, just this once. And you reach across to the toilet paper holder, usually placed convenient to the action at hand, only to find…

Am I the only one capable, culpable, hell-bent hung up on hanging up a new roll of toilet paper when I reach the cardboard holder which is effing recyclable people? The other day, in the course of just a few hours (I have the bladder of a flea) I was left as dry as the Sierra Desert at high noon in all three technically 2.5 of our bathrooms.
Some facts for you: We are four women. Two moms, two shana maideleh’s (sweet little girls). That’s a lot of estrogens well, it used to be more… coursing through this home. No one leaves the seats up. No one can technically, er, um, drip dry (Gatsby, our man of the house, uses the outdoors mostly).
Not two weeks ago, I had that alone moment every parent craves and snuck into the kinder’s (kids) bathroom. I went, I turned, I reached… NO! I stayed seated. I took a deep breath. I called for my kinder. They came joyfully running. The entered without abandon. “Hi mommy, what’ryou doing?” I asked, “What is wrong with this picture, my kinder?” They both cocked their heads, like when I ask Gatsby if he wants to go in the car or have a treat. “What do you mean, Mommy?”
I pointed to the sad scrap of paper attached to the TP holder. I said, “Have you girls ever changed the toilet paper roll before? Let me show you how, so this can stop happening to Mommy? Nu?” Since I was, well, indisposed, I asked Little to reach for a new roll. She handed it to me with her playful, almost spritely smile. I said to them both, “Watch this.” I held the new, plush roll in my lap still seated on the throne as I lifted the cardboard insert and the metal bar that holds it in place. I showed them how to emancipate remove the empty roll and did a shtick (shpiel, speech) about recycling. Then I gently placed the lovely, fresh roll onto the metal bar and lowered it into place. Thus securing the new roll, with a clean top-over pull, ready for those in need me.
Still sitting atop said porcelain, I explained a bit about setting each other up for success in big ways, in small ways, in all ways. They nodded as if they understood. Giggling at my vulnerable state, I’m sure. Then, they scurried off to play. I completed my transaction and went about my day, thinking, “I made a difference today.”
… Later that same day, the commode conundrum reared its ugly head yet again. This time, upstairs, in the bathroom I share with my Mrs. (and kinder too) I didn’t even try to shut the door. I went, I reached, NO! Gatsby was curled on the mat near the shower. I looked at him and his tail wagged, making a lovely noise as it smacked the floor. He knew nothing of the tsuris (trouble) I was facing. I looked up, and across the room which felt a million miles away, atop the sink, sat a brand-new scroll. I laughed cried. I waited for eons. I stood and walked over like Elvis, with my pants around my ankles and seized my prize. Oy!
So my friends, If as a human being, living and sharing space on this precious planet we call home, you are looking to bring solace to your fellow dwellers, simply follow these easy steps.
You will need some basics.
1 new roll of (whatever ply suits your system) TP
A free hand put down the smartphone
Recycling bin (YES! It’s recyclable should not be sent to the landfill)
It’s simple really.
Remove empty roll.
Replace with new roll, paper coming over top.
Place empty roll in the recycling bin, or save for reuse as beautiful junk in a craft project with your kinder.
Beautiful. Now watch Helen Hunt do it… you won’t be sorry for these 25 seconds, I promise.
Voila!
Anyone having these same issues? Do tell!
Yiddish Proverb:
If the Student is successful, the teacher gets the praise. Az der talmid iz a voiler, iz der rebbi oich a voiler.
Yes! Preach!
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Mwah to you! Amy 😘💕✨
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Changing the toilet paper after you’ve used it all up is one of those small, kind actions that makes such a difference. It’s amazing how many people who don’t get that.
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I’m sayin’!!! 🤗
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Too funny! I feel you. I have the added annoyance of soft close toilet seats and boys who leave the seat up. A woman who has carried four kids doesn’t have time for that 😉 #dreamteam
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No joke! We should all just get catheters, and leave this mess behind! 😂😂😂 #dreamteam 🤗
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This is my favourite thing I have read in ages, this is my life, this is me I am screaming whilst reading this!!! I just forced hubby to read and watch the clip and when my kinder get home I will show them too, we have 3 toilets shred by 3 females and 2 males and I feel like no matter which toilet I use I find this problem, and if they were somehow forced to change it I will find a pile of empty cardboard tools on the floor because it is too hard to walk to one of our 3 recycling bins!!!! I LOVE YOU! #mg
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LOVE YOU BACK! We may be spirit sisters! Oh how this drives me nuts!!!!! 😂😂😂 So Happy you shared with your family. I hope it helps! I have PTSD just feeling the urge to go! Mwah lovely Mac! #mg 😘
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I am the only one who replaces the loo roll so annoying! My son uses the empty rolls as bracelets thought which is handy ha #familyfun
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Love the bracelet idea! What craziness! I guess there is one of us placed carefully in each household? 😂😂😂 #familyfun 💕
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Hah, I feel you! I don’t think my husband has ever changed the loo roll. The stack of spare toilet rolls are within reach though, so it’s not quite crisis point for us when it hasn’t been done. #KCACOLS
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For me, it depends which bathroom I am in… I guess some people do and some people just don’t! It should only be as bad as this, and we will all be okay! Have a lovely weekend, Christy! xoxo #KCACOLS xo
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I feel like I’m doing this constantly! I live in a house full of boys, I’m the only woman – and I feel like I’m the only one that changes them. AND I have to deal with toilet seats left up and little puddles on the floor. aargh!
#fortheloveofblog
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Puddles! Oh my! That would add to the tsuris, no doubt! #fortheloveofBLOG❤️❤️
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Happens to me after every visit from son(s)
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Argh!!!! What have we done wrong? I feel like carrying a roll with me! 😂😂😂✨❤️
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Being the only one in the house who changes the toilet roll, drive me mad also, plus as I am the only female ( apart from the dog) I am always having to put the seat down!#fortheloveofblog@_karendennis
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I have empathy for you my dear Karen. Kindred spirits, we are! 😂😂😂 #fortheloveofBLOG ❤️
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Apologies but I had a good laugh now – just because this is exactly what happens in my house. Only difference is the toilet seat also gets left up and that is also annoying.#fortheloveofBLOG
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Never apologize for a hearty laugh! It makes it all so much better! Thank you for reading and chatting with me! 😂😂😂 Oy! #fortheloveofBLOG❤️
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Oh my! I was laughing so hard reading this! Luckily for me, this rarely ever happens; but I do know just how irritating and exasperating it can be!
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I am grinning ear to ear knowing I made you laugh! No tsuris (troubles) for you! That is good! Thank you for letting me know that! I will try to remember how funny it is when I get home tonight and change the next roll! Hah! xoxo
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Haha! Glad to know I’m not alone! I’m the official toilet roll changer in the house. And toilet flusher too!
#FabFridayPost
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Oh, I flush too. What is this about? It’s not like it’s a complicate instrument? Our smart phones are harder. You know, once that make changing the roll an app, it will get done! Officially, I purchase the rolls too. Happy Weekend Veronica! xo #FabFridayPost xoxo
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Oh this is a constant source of contention in our house. It seems like it is mission impossible to replace the empty loo roll. Why it is so hard I will never know! Thanks for joining us at #familyfun
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Thanks Tammy! The very next morning, 2 of our bathrooms had the same thing, empty — then the bathroom at work, too! ACK! Well, this should be the worst of our worries! Have a super weekend! xoxo #familyfun
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Well said X #fabfridayposts
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I have the same problem in my house with my boys. I have managed to teach them to put the seat down, which they both always remember to do (Yay!) but the toilet paper is still an issue so I totally empathize! #globalblogging
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It’s as if we are doing trigonometry or something! Oy! #globalblogging ❤️
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The struggle is real!!! Teach them young! #thatsatsesh
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That us right! 😘✨
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Ah yes can relate #mg
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Seriously, I am the ONLY person in this house of 5 that can do that. And weirdly I often think of that scene when I’m going beserk at people for not doing it. #KCACOLS
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There is one of us in every house, apparently! 🤷♀️ #kcacols 😘
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Toilet paper almost ended my marriage to Hubster. He kept leaving me desperate. He would even use the spare emergency roll I always keep within reach of whoever is on the toilet. I finally got even and stripped all wiping options from the bathroom while he slept. When he awoke to do his morning constitution, I laughed as he called out to me in the bed. I left him there for a half an hour and went to eat my breakfast – walking directly passed him as he called me. He’s never done it to me again and our marriage was saved! He even puts the paper on the roll with it coming off the top, the only proper way to do it! #GlobalBlogging
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You may have the master key to this crazy lock of a problem. Wow. #globalblogging 😂😂😂
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Nobody ever changes the toilet paper in our home Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week
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😂😂😂 #thatfridaylinky
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I’m back with the #DreamTeam and I’m still maintaining that you get revenge by removing all toilet paper and then laughing maniacally when they call for your help!
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😂😂😂😂😂 I fear my Little may just cause a mess. Oy! #dreamteam 😘
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Hahaha this made me laugh out loud. Changing the toilet roll is the bane of my life! #bigpinklink
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Argh! We need to form a support group. Roller Girls! 😂😂😂 #bigpinklink xo
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Pingback: #GlobalBlogging linky week 51… | Shank You Very Much
It is so humbling! 🚽 😂😂😂 #globalblogging xo
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Pingback: Global Blogging #51 - One Messy Mama
OMG! Thank you so much! I am so honored! 🤗😘✨ I will link up in the am, lovely! #globalblogging
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Oh, Lisa. This did make me chuckle! You poor thing! That video clip is class!! Thanks for sharing at #TriumphantTales. (I hope toilet rolls are now getting changed by someone other than you!!)
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Nope. Not here. Not yet! Thanks Jaki. #triumphanttales xo
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This happens in my home too! Why?!! Actually we full on ran out yesterday and had to make do with shouting down for some kitchen roll….. #FabFridayPost
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Unreal! Maybe we need to start a movement? Pun intended 😂😂😂 #fabfridaypost xo
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I am the only one who replaces the loo roll so annoying! My daughter used too much toilet paper every time. Thank you for linking up for #kcacols and me home to see you next time.
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Thank you Kelly-Anne! Maybe we should start a support group-the Roller Girls! 😂😂😂 #kcacols 😘✨
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#thesatsesh the issue is real! feeling ya, i live with boys – so i feel like this is 100 times worse… we are blessed to have 2 bathrooms and I’m the only human able to replace as i go. We save our empty toilet rolls and i sell them 🙂 people will buy anything.
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Who buys them??? 😂😂😂 #thesatsesh xo
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Crazy people – the world is full of them. Honestly lol x
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This happens in our house all. the. time. I am sure I am the only one who ever replaces the loo roll! Aaaargh! A worthy BlogCrush nomination, Lisa. Congrats 🙂 #blogcrush
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Have I been #blogcrush ed? 💕💜❤️
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Oh absolutely! I even wrote a poem about it!!! However we have made progress, the toilet roll is replaced and the empty one left outside the bin. At least there’s a new one put in place!!! #brilliantblogposts
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Bravo to you! How did you get them to do it? Do tell! #brilliantblogposts xo
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Oh my goodness, I feel your pain. This is me all the time with the loo roll, and I always notice after I’ve doen my business then I’m stuck there. #Blogcrush
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Not a hood place to be! Now I look before I sit! 😂😂😂 #blogcrush xo
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Hehe just popping back again because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush
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What! I’m so excited! Th loo wins! Xoxo #blogcrush
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