I can do this

I’ve really been dreying my kop over this of late… (trying to wrap my head around this topic)

I remember the time I first saw her. My heart raced a little and my palms, they were even a little sweaty (not a real schvitz (good sweat) this was well before hot flashes. I had no qualms at all. I knew she was right and true and good in oh-so-many ways. Then, I held her. We were meant to be — it was love. Who knew what was to happen over time. To me. To her. To us. It’s a shonda (a real shame), I tell you.

Drink? No. Drugs? No. Sex? No.

No! Please, don’t you worry about me and my Mrs. Kaynohora! (a great, albeit magical word, to ward off the evils of the world) We are just fine. Poo-poo! (more magic) I am talking about that ferkokteh (all effed up) iPhone! Smartphone. Choose your brand poison. That damned diminutive, divisive, device that is constantly causing digital dilemmas and drama, stealing life from right under us. I used to pee and walk the dog without a phone, well, obviously not at the same time.

My pocket-sized pal, she is always at the ready with a brain-strengthening game, a word with friends, a voyeuristic view into the curated world of my Insta-friends, an up-to-the-minute news flash (Vey iz mir (OMG), what has mr t done now…) of the world and it’s tsuris (troubles).

Have you seen this? The next time you are in a restaurant, a coffee shop, grabbing a nice nosh (little smattering of something to eat), look around. People are out, together, and looking only at their ‘phones.’ Tables full of people in self-imposed, solitary confinement. As I type the term ‘phones,’ I notice a smirk on my punim (face). This thing started as a phone. Who even talks anymore? Text, text, text, yadda, yadda, yadda… My car? It has become just an expensive accessory for my iPhone. Oy vey…

Well, so I did a little digging into this overwhelmingly addictive behavior. Turns out, ‘they’, yes the proverbial ‘they,’ designed this mighty machine with the intent to deliver a deluge of dopamine, so we continue to crave! Sound familiar, Marlboro Man? Dopamine, she is like a chemical messenger from your brain, bringing only rewards, joy and good feeling. Nachas in the form of a neurotransmitter. Kum-bah-yah everyone Often, we get a nice dopa-release from food, sex, giving gifts, falling in love, all things pleasurable — and unfortunately, from addictive behaviors like gambling and drugs… WTF Now, this 10-year-old technology, as old (or young) as my Big, has us all entranced and SIA (speaking in acronyms). Remember when you really did LO? And just screamed SHIT instead of a carefully chosen emoji! It was aerobic, cathartic, true.

Addicted? Here’s what to look out for, my friends. Sleep problems. That bedside blue essence and sheen, she is enticing and lures you in like the sirens of the sea… just like Carol Ann in the movie, Poltergeist, I warn you all, “Don’t go near the light!” I learned that heavy-duty smartphone users all of us have grapple with more depression and anxiety than ever before. Nu? Apparently, the more you hang with your digital dynamo, the more lonely and anxious you feel. The more lonely and anxious you feel… the more real life becomes socially awkward –The biggest hurdle? FOMO. FOMO is yet another acronym in our ever growing lexicon we have come to know and love: fear of missing out. We all worry about that. What?

I tell you today, and you read it here, I am putting her down. After what the hoodied-Zuck has done to us, we should all jump out of the new-found country that is FB and re-enter our present lives. 

She does offer function. That I give her. I love that I have a camera wherever I go. I get to capture memories when I am present enough to make them. She keeps me safe. Driving alone, parking late at night, traveling for work, her mapping prowess, like prophecy… She lets me know where the kinder (kids) and the Mrs. are, and I can even see their precious punims (beautiful faces) when we FaceTime. I remember the Jetson’s did this She offers open access to just about every piece of vital information I would need at my fingertips.

For the sake of my children, and the love of my life, iPhone, we are through. Finito. Kaput. Tsebrekhn. My mishpocheh (family, my peeps), I will now, try my absolute human best, to be forever or at least a real lot of the time present and mindful in our moments. And like all proper addictions, I must gain my strength with you still by my side.

It may not be easy. But hey, nothing in life ever really is…

Yiddish Proverb:

A curse is not a telegram; it doesn’t arrive so fast. A klole iz nit keyn telegram; zi kumt nit on azoy gikh.

How about you? I’d love to know your thoughts on this telephonic topic. Leave me a note, or stop by, and we’ll nosh.





44 thoughts on “I can do this

  1. It really is addictive (and I think doubly so as a blogger when your phone is constantly pinging with messages that you “should” reply to, and you’re wondering how many people have read your latest post, and who’s left a comment, etc). I do get so frustrated with myself for being attached to my phone and every so often, I just switch it off completely for a few days. It’s very freeing, but then you switch it back on and have a million things you need to catch up on. Boo! #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I must say. I’m also really bad with phone. To the point of my daughter saying, why are you working every time I pick up my phone when I’m with her. I know, it is a real shame, but I have gotten better and try not to pick my phone in front of her no more. Live in the moment right. 🙂 xx

    Thank you very much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your observations are spot on (and very funny – I love the reference to ‘the Hoodied-Zuck’!), and perhaps we should all take a decent sized step back from our phones, but you also pose the very reasoned argument of why our phones are still very precious and useful to us. Everything in moderation seems to be the answer! Thanks for sharing with #FabFridayPost

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Totally know what you mean. I am increasingly conscious of how glued to my hand my phone is. I love the following quote about them: “Mobile phones take you closer to people who are far away but further away from people who are close.” Genius and so true. Good luck with your phone detox. I might give it a try myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m afraid I can’t give it up completely- so much info on my smartphone. However I’m banned it from the dinner table and when I spend time with family and friends it is only allowed to be in my bag and I can only check on it every half hour and within that time I am allowed to take a pic or two.#fortheloveofblog

    Liked by 1 person

  6. #thesatsesh sorry for the later comment, its hard to get the balance of being present and capturing images isn’t it…particularly as my phone likes to beep and distract me. ooohhh how i love my iPhone 😦 i’l work on it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I love this Lisa. I get so annoyed when we are out at dinner and people are on their phone instead of chatting! Isn’t that why we go out together? To catch up, chat, be present with one another!! Such a good reminder! #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I agree Lisa. I would be utterly lost without my phone, but my goodness how life and social interaction has changed over the past decade since these tiny devices took over our brains! Thanks for linking up lovely x #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: #GlobalBlogging linky week 54… | Shank You Very Much

  10. This is brilliant Lisa! I know exactly what you mean about seeing people out together, but not together as they are zoned out and fully locked on their phones. Since getting my new iphone (with a better camera), I do tend to have it out quite a bit. But, when I’m not taking photos, it’s usually tucked away and forgotten about… opps!! There’s been many a missed message. Thanks for joining us for the #DreamTeam xx

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh god don’t get me started on this, I don’t think I could live without my phone, which is a really scary to thing. How on earth did we get by without them. However it pains me when I see people glued to their phone, and I try so hard to keep my hand from reaching for it, especially in the middle of the night if I wake up. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire

    Liked by 1 person

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