Posted on in #funny, laundry, two moms, Uncategorized, Wordpress

I used to sing in the shower. Now…

Ice cream at Bredenbeck’s, after the summer dance intensive recital

Today friends, let me paint you some pictures with my words. Imagine summer as kinderlech (children): bathing suits, swimming pools, hopping through creeks, jumping in puddles. Sleep-overs, scooter rides, hiking, and biking. Ice creamy treats, baking and make your own pizzas. Slides, swings, and sunshine (the scorn that is sunscreen). Dirt, mud, and coils of chlorine tangled pony-tails. Board games, LOL doll surprises, and dance routines. Hula hoops, watermelon, movie nights and popcorn all at the sofa, vey iz mir (woe is me). Being a kid in the summer is magical.

Now, let’s look at this very same season as Muters (Moms): The kinder, they are joyful and giddy from playtime with friends, family, each other. They get hungry, hangry and eat every edible morsel in the pantry and fridge didn’t I just food shop?. They are oysgematert (drop-dead tired) from days packed with fun and frolic and yes, some fighting and varfing (tantrums). Some nights, they even ask to go to bed! Pools, beaches, showers, hair… Towels, oy, they are everywhere. And, they have so many wardrobe changes each and every effing day daily, they would give Cher in concert a run for her money… The grob vesh (dirty laundry) piles high daily. This, not so magical.

Doesn’t everyone hula-hoop in this kind of outfit? Nu?

Enter the brand new, very expensive, broken, cockamamie (ridiculous) washing machine. Broken not once, not twice, but three times since its inaugural installation in January yes, of this same year, and yes, if you would like to, please see the irony of that other inaugural installation event. It broke again on the 3rd of this month. Today, if you’re counting and you better believe I am counting marks day 15. Customer service mishaps, lost parts orders, summer vacations, and dirty laundry from floor to ceiling.

Slumber with besties

Now, in the big scheme of things, nisht geferlich (not really so terrible, we are alive, poo-poo). Worse things can do and will happen. The Mrs., she has already taken some 80+ pounds of laundry to the laundromat I chose food shopping.

Why are you looking at me? I don’t even wear clothes.

So now, I offer you this picture: I am fully clothed, save for a belt and sneakers. I walk into our shower. There is a small lump of laundry littering the floor near the bench. I turn on cool water and grab the bar of Fels-Naptha Laundry Soap. I wash my jeans while wearing them. This is the emmes truth (I swear its true). I peel them off for some interior suds-ing, give a good rinse, then squeeze, spin cycle style. Next, my T-shirt. Suds on and scrub. Take it off, rinse, and scrunch. Undergarments follow – you get the idea. I am finally in my birthday suit (no need to picture that — this is not on of those stories). I tend to the lump of things already on the floor… then finally, I can clean me. Please know, this dramatically increases my hygienic routine. I used to sing in the shower, now I feel like Ma, from Little House on the Prairie. As I load the dryer with my freshly cleaned items, I give the evil eye to the washer. Feh! (expression of physical and emotional disgust).

Like Ma, in Little House on the Prairie, I enter my modern stream…

Allegedly, the fix-it-people are coming tomorrow – between 8:54 am and 11:54 am who gives times like these? — emmes truth. I think I will do another load in the morning, again… 

Yiddish Proverb:

If you have nothing to lose, you can try everything. Aoyb ir hot gornisht tsu farlirn ir kenen prubirn alts.

So, how’s by you?

Laundry, shmaundry… A bei gezunt (As long as you’re healthy).

 

66 thoughts on “I used to sing in the shower. Now…”

  2. Oh boy; I really hope they are able to fix the washer for good. I am so sick of buy appliances and large household items only to have them fall to crap within minutes and days… Best of luck to you!.. and honestly I think it’s kind of genius to clean your clothes in the shower and then throw them in the dryer. #BlogCrush

    Liked by 1 person

  4. By me it’s good, thanks, but I every so often I forget where I am (Cornwall) and when I run into a friend I ask, “How’s by you?” and get a baffled look. It happened again just last weekend, so I had to do the whole explanation of what the hell I was talking about.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh appliances breaking is the bane of our lives. Getting them fixed in time for holiday guests to make use of them is impossible. We always end up just having to buy new again. Hope yours gets sorted. #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Ahhh, the summer holidays is the worst time for the washing machine to break!! Can’t say I ever washed me clothes while wearing them, fingers crossed that you get the washer fixed soon xx #BlogCrush

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I really love that proverb. As for the washing machine – that would drive me nuts. We were without one for a week and I was walking to the laundromat daily – quite a pleasant 30 mins reading time while I washed and dried tbh….#Stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Oh dear I really hope they fix your washing machine. I am lost without mine. Even with the water restrictions here in Cape Town – I do a little bit of hand washing but it kills me. Luckily we have a water tank that catches rain water and my hubster has now converted the hose pipe to pull the water from there into our washing machine. Good luck – these are real household problems and we don’t realise how depended we are on certain things #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Oh! I know! It is never ending! I remembered when I moved to our new rented home and the washing machine broke. Then Evelyn was a newborn and I was using cloth nappies. Man the smell of unwashed pile just broke me into tears! Luckily it was fix a few days later.

    Thank you very much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost xx

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Ohhhhh noooooo!!!!! Lisa…. this is like a nightmare to me. No washing machine?! We would drown in the washing pile. I like your quick thinking, giving it a scrub in the shower. Thankfully ours hasn’t done this. Did you manage to get it fixed in the end? Thanks for joining us for the #dreamteam xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I love this post. Such visual and accurate descriptions of summer from both sides, and the picture of you in the shower studding your clothes – I was worried you were building up to reaching for a towel and they were all damp and dirty! I hope the washing machine is fixed soon. Summer is almost over and school routine will seem a blessing, for the first day at least! #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  25. What a nightmare, it’s horrible when appliances you rely on break down. I didn’t have a washing machine for years and had to rely on a mixture of hand washing and taking clothes to the laundry. But the dirty washing piled up. Luckily I do have a washing machine now, it’s such a necessity. Thanks for linking up again with #kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Broken 3 times in 8 months! How awful but love your strategy to get clean clothes! There is so much washing…every single day… Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Haha, I loved this post, and the fact that you refused to be defeated! Washing machines are crafty. A few months ago we brought our one day old baby back from hospital and two days later the washer just gave up. It’s like it just knew! #kcacols

    Liked by 1 person

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