A friend is not someone who wipes your tears; a friend doesn’t make you cry. A fraynd iz nit emetser vas veyps deyn trern; a fraynd tut nisht makhn ir veynen.
What do Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Walt Disney, Winston Churchill, Coco Channel, Henry Ford, Roald Dahl, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Ezra Pound, T. S. Eliot and Charles Lindbergh all have in common with mr t? All are anti-Semites. They all have / had a deep, dark and outspoken hatred of Jews.
Hating Jewish people is not a new phenomenon, I know this well. As a Jewish person, I am so grossly disturbed by this, along with the ongoing currents of bigotry and racism towards Blacks, Muslims, Mexicans, Women, and the LGBTQ community. It’s hard to comprehend and even harder to explain to the littles.
In the less than 2 months since the inauguration of mr t, let me list some news for you:
Over 100 Jewish Community Centers (JCC’s) have received bomb threats, and this week, about 30 of them were right here in my neck of the woods (PA, NJ, DE)
Horrible acts of vandalism have struck Jewish cemeteries located in St. Louis and Philadelphia (my hometown), toppling headstones and wreaking havoc for loved ones
Many Mosques and churches have been set on fire
Less than a week ago, a man in Kansas shot at two Indian men, killing one and wounding the other. He thought they were middle eastern, and yelled, “Get out of my country” as he fired shots. He also wounded a white American, 24 years old, who tried to stop him.
Can we all band together now and agree that what is happening in the US right now is not normal?
When asked about all of these recent attacks, mr t replied, “Sometimes it’s the reverse, to make people—or to make others—look bad.” He implied that the Jews are actually doing this to make him look bad. Later that same day, one of his advisers stated, with his outside voice, that the culprits were democrats, all just trying to make him (mr t) look bad.” mr t, he calls this ‘false flags.’
Once, an evil man named Adolf Hitler used propaganda, hate, and divisiveness to exterminate six million of my people, our people who lived and loved on this planet. After that awful time in our world history played out, we all promised, Never Again.
I see a crackdown on immigration. The building of walls. A Muslim ban. I think my friends, ‘Never Again’ is now.
You know, sometimes, forgetting, it’s a good thing. Not when you are searching your brain for a missing word mid-sentence, or for the name of the person quickly approaching with open arms. Then, it’s a little scary — am I already an Alta cocker (old fart) losing my marbles? Oy vey. Some memories, good or bad, come rushing back at you with a smell, a sound, a familiar face, a feeling in your gut (shpilkes), or reading a great post about a national movement to battle body image for young girls.
Please know , that this post was inspired by Allison at Mad House Mom. She wrote an amazing post, Be Real (istic) in early February that dislodged the floodgates that fed (that is some effing pun) my inner voice as a kid. Hell, this voice was feeding me well into my thirties before I started fighting back. Before I wanted to fight back. And it was some battle.
If you are a woman in this world, chances are pretty damned good that you have had a bout of feeling a bit ‘less than’ throughout your life. If you grew up as a people-pleasing perfectionist, that sponged up all the dysfunction in a family to make it all seem okay, well let’s just say, that really sucks that is meshugenah (crazy) making.
Having mr t in the big office, bragging about ‘grabbing women by their ‘pussies’ (this has happened to me) after popping a few tic-tac’s; suddenly earning 21.4 cents less per dollar isn’t your biggest worry. How do I parent and protect my girls, my babies from what can be a cruel world?
Here are just a few doozies that broke the damn dam for me:
“Both girls, they’re too fat. I’ll allow two cookies a year. One on Christmas, and one on Easter.”Our pediatrician said this to my mother with my shvester (sister) and me in the room when I was 5, maybe 6 years old. The age of my Little. A doctor really said that in 1969.
“Lisa, come here. Look in the mirror with me. When you put your legs together, you should be able to see three perfect diamonds. This is a problem.” My mother, she brought me into her ‘dressing room’ in the summer of 1974. I was wearing my, “I’m Lisa. Fly me.” t-shirt. You baby-boomers may remember this overtly sexist campaign from Delta, that actually sold the allure of the flight attendants as an absurd, racy extension of the actual airline. I had on my favorite matching yellow shorts. I saw no diamonds in that room, wall-to-wall mirrors, showing every possible angle of ‘diamondlessness.’
1979, said to my parents by a person I had never met, as we stood in line at the Rascal House for dinner: “I had no idea you had another daughter, Morty? I only knew about your sports all star!” Then my mother interjected in a very faint whisper, after looking from side to side to make sure no one of stature was listening, “Lisa likes to paint. She’s an artist.” Insert shame here.
“I apologize, my daughter is wearing her glasses today, and I just don’t know why?“ Then under her breath, she looked directly at me and sneered, “Why would you do this to me?” Mom again.We were meeting for dinner, maybe 1987-88? For the record, I was at least 25 years old, my glasses were brand spankin’ new and my eyes were irritated from a flight from Philadelphia to Miami earlier that day. She spent the rest of that evening with her back to me. Never once looking at me or speaking to me during the entire meal.
“Don’t you ever share food with her again, she has cancer. You’ll catch it. When you go to the bathroom, in her house, don’t sit on the seat. In fact, try not to go at all.” 1986, mom again. We were in NYC and I took a bite of dessert from my most favorite aunt in the entire world. At this point, she should have been pleased I took a bite of anything at all. I would go days at a time eating absolutely nothing. Seeking invisibility and gauging my worth by the numbers on the scale.
“Lesbians, like Martina (Navratilova), have a genetic mutation, just like retarded people. That’s why she is gay. It’s the mutation. And, she is obviously the man in the relationship.” This gem, also from my mother, was declared over dinner at the TGI Friday’s in the Princeton Market Fair, NJ. Circa 1992-ish. ‘Dear old dad’ went on to pontificate about how she (Martina) disgusted him, and he couldn’t even watch her play tennis. Don’t you worry Martina, I defended you from this incompetence.
These couple of quotes, just the tips of the iceberg that tried to sink me like the Titanic. My dear friends, don’t you for one second be sad for me. I am alive and well, living and loving a life free of toxicity. My Mrs. and me, we met at a group for women with eating disorders. Good luck / bad luck. We worked through our shit hard in therapy before having little ones.
We do our best and bend over backward to raise our shana maidelehs (sweet girls) with love, respect, and self-esteem in a world that tries too hard to steal it from them. They will never hear what I heard or be subject to the pernicious parental spiel (empty jabber, talk) that formed my invalidating inner voice.
We want for them to learn to love themselves first and foremost. To know they are loved by us, no matter who they are, what they do or how they look. They will understand the value of being a good person on the planet, helping others and living a life with empathy and a strong voice. They will learn how to take their space and own it. We will not let them succumb to the vile sexist and misogynistic messages of the media, or mr t. That the ‘P’ word (perfect) only sets you up to fail.
We want to build their house on a strong foundation, ready to weather the storms that blow in and out of our lives. Mighty girls become brave women.
I wish that I could have pain instead of you my child. Mir zol zayn far dir, mayn kind.
No matter who you are, or how you identify, please don’t leave the next person high and dry.
Let the record show that I have not been paid to write this piece, although truth is, that would be both helpful and nice. I am not a political reporter or a journalist. I am, however, one very outraged Yiddisheh momma who cannot just sit idly by while mr t and his alt-right, uber-conservative (pun intended) regime of discriminating desperado’s, steal away the basic rights and needs of transgendered students in this country, who’s only crime is that they want to pee safely. Yes, this is about peeing. Whether you sit, stand, hover-over, wipe or shake it off, we are in the midst of Pee-Gate. Who knew such tsuris (troubles) would plague us…
Pee-Gate is about ignorance fear, stupidity lack of knowledge, the lawlessness inequity of separate but not equal, bigotry, closed-mindedness, insecurity and what can very easily become an unnecessary increase in violence against, and suicide rates amongst, the LGBTQ community.
My President Obama, he banished the bathroom backlash by bestowing Title IXin the way it was created as law:
Title IX is a landmark federal civil right that prohibits sex discrimination in education. Title IX is not just about sports; it is a prohibition against sex-based discrimination in education. It addresses discrimination against pregnant and parenting students and women in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) programs. It also addresses sexual harassment, gender-based discrimination, and sexual violence. Sexual violence includes attempted or completed rape or sexual assault, as well as sexual harassment, stalking, voyeurism, exhibitionism, verbal or physical sexuality-based threats or abuse, and intimate partner violence.
My Barack, he said, let the transgendered kids use the bathroom of their choice. He didn’t do this because he was a nice guy (he is) or wanted to make trouble (he didn’t). He said this because he knew we already have a Federal Law on the books. Unlike mr t, Barack knows the law and the rights created in the Constitution. C’mon people, Tricky-Dick Nixon made Title IX a law back in 1972! That was 45 years ago, and Nixon!
Now for the outrage. This divisive and discriminating act of hatred and bullying towards the transgendered community in our educational system is based on the idiocracy that all transgendered youth (and grown ups too) in our country are perverse and have deviant motives when they need to pass water. This very small-minded thinking from the highest office in the land only boosts bullying and hatred to the most malevolent and malignant levels. mr t’s reversal is his first real attempt to hold true, his campaign claims against the entire LGBTQ community. It is an outright attack and I will not stand by and watch.
Milania, if you are truly standing tall against bullying as first Lady, then please leave your golden penthouse now and get the hell up and shout! Your husband is the biggest, baddest, bully in the bunch. Step down from your trophy wife status and stop him. You are a mom for christ sake. How can you let him attack our nation’s children this way? Put aside his misogynistic treatment of both you and Ivanka, the daughter-wife-in-chief, and start championing your cause. The kinder (children) need you.
The school that my Big and Little attend have non-marked bathrooms because you know what, we all gotta go. There are no issues as diverse students, teachers, staff, and caregivers all pee proudly and safely.
Please, join the resistance against this very dangerous policy by mr t. Join with positivity and hope as we demonstrate to the world leaders that our children’s lives are on the line. Protest peacefully, make calls, write letters, sign petitions, and send emails. You don’t mess with ourkinder(children), mr t.
We are supposed to leave the world a better place than when we entered it. mr t, I say to you:
A fool goes twice where a sensible person doesn’t even go once. A nar geyt tsvey mol dort vu a kliger geyt nit keyn eyntsik mol.
I am one scared Yiddeshah momma these days. I am literally swimming in shpilkas (nervous in my gut) over the tsuris (troubles) mr T has caused our world in just twelve days of domination, deception, and lawlessness.
If you have a vagina, if you care about the ingredients in the foods you and your kinder(kids) eat, the water you drink, if you believe in religious freedoms and equality or cannot shake the image of the emaciated polar bears, please show up.
mr T, he began spewing the darkest, most Machiavellian mantra of inaugural messaging, while his minions behind the scenes stripped the White House website (and our people) clean of all of the hope and justice created during the Obama administration.
Rapidly putting pen to papers, he began to disassemble the accomplishments and freedomsfor the people of this country, my country.The sick and underprivileged are now at risk. Healthcare is in limbo. Women’s rights, LGBT rights, and civil rights have shuddered. He has thrown out hard facts and true science, sacrificing the environment for our kinder(children) and their kinder — all slashed with the click of a pen, held in his tiny, little, creepy hands.
He placed a gag order on the EPA. We no longer need to know what is in our food, our water; what spills in our riverbeds and oceans. He reopened the oil pipelines.
And on Holocaust Remembrance Day, very late in the daily news cycle, he went above and beyond draconian, incomprehensible behavior. mr T, he banned all Muslims from seven majority Muslim nations, and all fleeing refugees from entering our sanctuary country.
This unprecedented, diabolical action is clear, plain as day, religious persecution. mr T’s deeds defy our American values and places us all in grave danger. He is setting the stage for his campaign promise of a Muslim registry. The indecency of this magnitude has happened before in the world. It all began with words of hate. Never again.
@POTUS44and@MichelleObama, please stay close to us, for the clocks of history are quickly bending backward in time.
mr T, know that I wish you no ill will. I want you to leave the White House, but unless a bigger, bolder gig awaits you, I doubt this will happen. I will go back to my Yiddish ancestry and offer you up a bissel shiltn (little curse).
May you either have to use the toilet every three minutes or every three months. May ir oder hobn tsu nutzn di klozet yeder drey minut oder yeder dray khdshim.
I sure hope you have good healthcare mr T. A yiddishah curse, is like no other!
What if we were to make him a new curse, reflecting modern times? Something along the lines of:
May your dictatorial acts, racist, anti-Semitic, and misogynistic views haunt you as your offspring marry a Jew (check), a Muslim, and a member of the LGBT community.
May you be more careful when you make those faces when you speak the words of puppet-master Bannon, because like all momma’s say, your face will freeze that way.
May your fortune grow and grow and grow, to incomparable levels of wealth and riches. And may the next Democratic president, elected 4 years from now, tax the f*cking shi*t out of you and the gazillionaire friends of yours who line your cabinets.
I must say, this curse making is quite fun. Why don’t you try it? Please, send me your creative thoughts and ideas!
Stay strong my friends. Our voices and actions matter more now than ever before. One need not be a lefty-liberal to know that hate has no home in these Unites States. We must proudly and strongly have the courage to stand up and say, “Never again.”
Color me a baby boomer, but I can’t help but wonder if we wouldn’t be in this mess if TheLove Boat and Fantasy Island were still on TV. I mean, that’s were all of the ‘B’ rated celebs went off to, right? Nu?
Folkh mikh a gayng! Like that’s gonna happen!
Well Mr. T-elect, as you think about repealing the Affordable Care Act for me and my twenty million friends who rely on it, I offer you this lovely and wise Yiddish proverb:
May all your teeth fall out, except for one. And in that one, you can have a tooth ache.
May ale deyn tseyn faln aoys, akhuts far eyn. Aun in az eyner, ir kenen hobn a tson veytik.