Is catastrophe the new us? I’m for a better truth!

Don't my shana madaleh's deserve a better place, a safer place?
Don’t my shana madaleh’s (little girls) deserve a better place, a safer place?

Yes, I’m ranting. Why have we lowered the bar on civility?

Does it really matter where one pees? This Yiddisher momma will tell you that in the many times nature has called when I have been out and about, and the line at W went around the corner, I walked into the empty M without causing an international threat to gender. And haven’t all Euro-pee-ans been sharing a WC without worry for, well, ever?

And should whether one pees standing up or sitting down really dictate the gender pay gap?

If November 8th declares a victory for Hillary, will she only receive $316,000 per year / $0.79 per dollar of all her male predecessors?

Why do so many people care only for the unborn child while in utero, and not give a flying fu, well hoot, once the kid has left its amniotic apartment?

Why so much racism, hate, injustice and senseless violence?

#Black Lives Matter
#Black Lives Matter

How is Monsanto allowed to devastate our food system and spoon feed us garbage and chemicals? Don’t they deserve a squirt or two of RoundUp?

Fracking is the new F-word in the world of fossil fuels, foreign oil, future and further damage to water, health, our environment, and the planet. Pope, can you pipe in here please?

Climate change is real. Even the Pope, head macher (big deal, boss man) of the Catholic Church, says human beings are the cause of this major catastrophe. Why can’t the ‘collective we,’ countries and corporations, that share this planet all own that progress and evolution does not always make for a revolution.

#Climate Matters
#Climate Matters

With the bar so low, can we ever raise it again? How long will it take? I worry about all of our kinder (children) growing up in a world so careless, unkind, racist, bigoted and focused on the wrong green.

Oy vey doesn’t even begin to cover this shpilkas (intestinal terror!) folks.

Please, I am open to suggestions. Wallet activism and voting alone won’t change where we are headed.

We need a mindset shift, Yes? Any ideas? I’m askin’ from my heart.

Nu?

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Thank You so much Su, from EthanEvelyn.com! #FabFridayPost
Thank You so much Su, from EthanEvelyn.com! #FabFridayPost

 

Rant, Shmant: Zika virus?

 

This is one scary bug!
           

Shhhhh. feeling extremely out of control… Vampires bites! Week 14 

Is it just me? Or are you worried about the Zika virus? Forget the election and the fate of our country. This little bugger might just trump Trump, in the world of threats? According to health officials at the CDC, these newly armed and mighty mosquitos are like teeny, tiny-terrorists, swarming our way, and outfitted in the latest ISIS style death-vests, ready to attack with a bite, leaving behind a trail of neurologic cooties. Can’t go outside because they can form and reproduce in a drop of water. Can’t stay inside, because unlike other mosquito members, they like it indoors.

At first, level red alerts were only for those with child and trying for ‘with child’ status, due to the link to abysmal birth defects. As if that wasn’t bad enough! Now, ‘they’ say, all of us are in danger. Fevers, rashes, joint pain, fatigue and um, some rare autoimmune and neurological disorders that could attack our brains and spinal chords.

And, as warmer weather is on the way, vacations begin and people from Zika prone countries will cross-pollinate. We now know, the vampire bite is no longer the only way to spread said sickness. Actually shtupping (having sex with an infected male) can do it too. Lucky for this two-momma household, we at least have lesbianism going for us. Oy vey!

So, I headed over to the CDC web site and take a look-see under PREVENTION. Mark my words, this is what it said: No vaccine exists. Prevent Zika by avoiding mosquito bites. Genius!

I don’t know about you, but the Mrs., Little, Big and me are like mosquito magnets. The freckles on our skin must say, “All you can Eat,” in mosquito. We use the stuff that costs and arm and a leg from WF to protect from bug bites. No way my shana madelahs (little girls) are going to get slathered in DEET. Even the EPA, the bastion of protection, says that this stuff is so poisonous, if you do use it, wash it off immediately when you come inside, don’t breathe around it (how does this work, when you shmear it on like cream cheese on a bagel?), and don’t spray directly on your face. These machers (big shots) also suggest, wait for it, staying indoors from dawn to dusk. This, they earn salaries for?

I’m no doctor (a Yiddisher Momma, yes, and I watched a lot of House), but DEET kills things. Probably a lot more things than just vampire mosquitos!

Well that’s it for my kvetching (complaining). What on earth are you going to do about this mosquito issue with your families?

 

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linky 4-22-16 #FabFridayPost Linky #28
linky 4-22-16 #FabFridayPost Linky #28

 

Bloggers Pit Stop #20
Bloggers Pit Stop #20

Rant, Shmant: The Time Conundrum?

Tick-tock, tick-tock...
Tick-tock, tick-tock…

Quiet please, for this session is very important…Week 13

Where does it go when 24/7 is the new norm? 81 years is the average age for a woman in the U.S. to live, less so for a man. How do we spend our time? What makes us happy? What constitutes a life well lived? I suppose those answers change from person to person.

2 reasons right here...
2 reasons right here…

I’m soon to be 636 months old. Am I doing the things that matter to me? Am I grateful? What do I want more of? What do I do too much of? If I have roughly 336 months left, how should they be spent? How could they be spent?

I work really hard. I do not have wealth, and I am rich in many ways. I live with extreme physical pain, and I savor the many pleasurable feelings of joy. I have had struggles and tsuris (troubles) for what feels too long a time, and I revel in laughter and glee. I have been hurt and I seek no harm to others. I’m not where I want to be, physically or fiscally, and I am so lucky to be surrounded by those I love and who love me.

This life, it seems it is filled with hundreds of invisible tugs of war that one encounters at unpredictable checkpoints along the way. Everyone’s road is different. Sometimes one can pass through the obstacles with ease while others require extra adeptness and newfound compassion.

Where is the balance among the commotion? How does one teeter what feels good and what hurts? Ethics, morals, values, pain, conflict, money, love, empathy, gratitude, compassion…is there a pattern? I don’t have that answer. I don’t see a pattern.

If time is finite, I need handle it with care. If energy is fixed, I should expend wisely. If my body craves healing, I need to treasure restoration. I fear there is no bargaining at this table.

I do work that is meaningful. My heart lives for and with my family, great friends. Such naches (joy and happiness) I get, from the Mrs. and der kinder (the children). I hold my loved ones closely and dearly. I am grateful.

Thanks for letting me speak (well, okay, type). I can stop kvetching (complaining), at least about time, for I think I have resolved the answer to my enigma. Wish me much mazel (good luck)!

Are you living your life well? A bei gezunt (As long as your healthy)!

image

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linky 4-15-16 #FabFridayPost Linky #27
Bloggers Pit Stop #19
Bloggers Pit Stop #19
Pass the Sauce #AgentSpitback #Linky Party 4-19-16
Pass the Sauce #AgentSpitback #Linky Party 4-19-16

 

Rant, shmant…Cell Phones. WTF? Week 11

As you see, the parents are not paying attention to the kinder (child)
As you see, the parents are not paying attention to the kinder (child)

 

Cell phone courtesy: Please turn ‘em off – therapy is in session

Answer: 60 to 125 times a day

Question: On average, how many times do we check our cell phones each day?

So, I ask you, are you average, above average? Stellar perhaps? Just how tethered are you? Can you give it up? Would you? I have to admit, mine goes everywhere with me. Apple had me at, “iHello.” And to be honest (we are in therapy after all) the phone is my least favorite feature. It’s that dreamy camera—the ability to capture my kinder (kids) in every escapade imaginable. Kodak moments? Not so much (who prints when we can swipe?). Between the Mrs. and me, we record every waking moment of our lives with Little and Big. Second children no longer have to grow up unnoticed (and needing therapy); Little is in just as many pictures as Big.

please watch this short video…my mishpocheh (family) in action. That Kenny, he’s got the making of a star! Nu? Thank you to my nephew, Max-a-lah,  for making such a video!

What on earth did we all talk about before everyone on the planet got a smart phone? I vaguely recall long, lovely, limitless, uninterrupted time to myself. I walked the dogs (furry first children) and was totally one with them in nature. I could run to the store and pick up a script without a care. I actually peed without bringing a phone in the bathroom. The Mrs. and I, we schmoozed (chatted) about everything, snuggling on the sofa watching Olivia Benson kicking some major butt!

There were no electronic farts, noises, beeps, or music telling me about a new email, a tweet, a status update, a news alert, or a lightening strike within my immediate proximity. I was not instantaneously answerable to anyone. I think I was still okay? I managed to meet with friends and family and not call if someone was 10 seconds late (of course, I’m Jewish, so I imagined them dead by the curb, or on a respirator in the hospital, but which hospital? Oy). I knew how to dress for the weather because I walked out the front door to check. I was up to date on the news and current events; I definitely held my own during many a ‘water cooler’ conversation. My landline rang and I let the answering machine get it. Yes, I was a proud screener.

I’m positive we talked more before smart phones. I used to take time out of my day to write letters and send cards to people for special occasions. Now, I can text or instant message birthday wishes, Mazel Tov’s or even my deepest sympathies. Why even say how I feel? There is an amazing array of emoticons for every expression. Feelings? Feh!

Oh Siri, how I love and hate you so… Like Google on crack, so many answers you have? This techno age is meshuggeneh (crazy). Being connected is so easy, yet I look around at restaurants, on the train, even walking, and everyone is looking at his or her phones. Talking to each other? Not so much.

Was life better before? Is life better now? I don’t know. I do know life is faster now. Yet, somehow, it’s a lot easier to feel disconnected, being so connected. It’s a shonda (a shame). WTF?

 

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#Blogger’sPitStop you rock!
linky 4-1-16 #FabFridayPost Linky #24
linky 4-1-16 #FabFridayPost Linky #24

Rant, shmant…what to do about litter? Week 10

It's not like there is another planet we can go to
It’s not like there is another planet we can go to

Shhhhhh. She’s in therapy again. Help her.

Today at lunch I walked around and could not believe the dreck (crap, trash) I found

Just a little jaunt to breathe fresh air; feel the sun on my back and the wind in my hair

For spring had landed in Philadelphia – I wanted to stroll; feel a bit healthia’

The neighborhood, a very desirable place, had so much trash, it was a disgrace

I won’t belabor or beat this dead horse; rather let me show you as a matter of course:

whoever did this, shlepped (carried) it along lonng enough to drink it all
Shlepped (carried) it along long enough to drink it all, you nogoodnik!
You mean you can add littering to your bad choices?
Wonderful, add littering to your bad choices!
Recycling, not much?
Recycling, not so much. Kish mir en tuchis (kiss my ass butt)!
Sucha big macher (big shot) you are, Mr. Cigar. Such chazzerai (garbage, pig slop)
Such a big macher (big shot) you are, Mr. Cigar. Tidy, you are not.
May all your teeth fall out, except one, so that you can have a toothache.
Such schmutzik (filth) everywhere?
First, you eat bread made from yoga mats, now you do this? Feh!
Eat bread made from yoga mats, then you litter? Feh!
A shonda (shame) to toss a childs toy aside
A shonda (shame) to toss a toy aside, like chazzerai (pig slop)

Such a mess, this is tantamount to; people, I gotta’ ask? Who raised you?

Please all you folks who live out there, teach der kinder (the kids) well, make them aware.

 

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linky 3-25-16 #FabFridayPost Linky #24

Rant, Shmant, at least I can vent…Week 8 is about ME

Flip-flops!
Flip-flops!

Shhhhh. Breakthrough therapy session in progress!

 Week 8! We need some progress. Today’s rant is all about me and my shtick (routine actions). I can most certainly do a few things in my life differently to save time, effort, energy, and all around self-made tsuris (trouble) and shpilkas (inner turmoil). This can allow me to be more present: As a parent, a partner, a person on the planet. That is a pretty important goal. So what follows dear therapists, is a list of the 5 things I will try, try, try very hard to break in my, well, shtick! Please note this is by no means a manifesto…I’m a work in progress. (Note to the Mrs., Little and Big: THIS-IS-ALL-ABOUT-ME. The queen of all OCD raised me. A master, she is. And, well, some things still remain.)

  1. The dishwasher. You and I have a strange relationship. Whenever I open you up, I have a need to re-stack and alter your contents. This is not to judge you, but to be more efficient and organized. Hey Dish, it’s your life. If you want to crowd your stuff all willy-nilly, so be it. No big mitziah (deal). Whether I can fit more in and allow you to wash more proficiently will no longer matter. I am going to focus on the fact that you are not in the sink and see the mitzvah (good deed) in that.
Because life goes by so fast, it's a blur...
Because life goes by so fast, it’s a blur…
  1. The toilet paper roll. Whether you roll over top, underneath, or sit atop the holder, I will just be grateful that you are there when I need you. I’m no TP maven (expert) so any way you show up, preferably in the bathroom, will suffice. 
  1. Laundry. Oh how I hate you. You are always there, ready to be washed, fluffed, folded and put away. I will try to take some days off from your siren like calling. I will only really fold my items, the towels and perhaps some of the nicer things all my girls wear. As for drawers and their contents, I will be my own keeper. 

image

  1. Food under Little’s Seat. Kaynahorah (warding off the evil eye) to my little tactile eater. You indulge and enjoy and really feel (and squish and mush) and ‘experience’ your food. It took me until my 40’s, when the Mrs. and I took a course on mindful dining, to be so engaged. You are awesome my shana madelah (beautiful little girl). Continue to ess a bissel (eat a little) your way. In the morning’s when I do Tai Chi, and things go crunch under foot, azoy vert dus kuchel tzekrokhen (literally, that’s the way the cookie crumbles). I will breathe and smile. 
  1. Stuff in general. Life here at the Manor is the closest this family will get to living in a ‘tiny home.’ So, when a few things are left out and about, it’s easy to get a bissel farhklempt (a little distraught). What’s to shvitz (sweat) over? No more utzing (nagging, like a pebble in your shoe) you. 

image

The goal here my dear mishpocheh (family), is for me to loosen up. Not get so meshuggeneh (crazy). Make memories, be more present. After all, I’m no yeller. I’m a kveller (one who gushes with pride)!

What do you thing doc’s? How am I doing? Please let me know.

 

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Linky Live #ABitOfEverything @agentspitback @MrsGrohl14 Week 20 TY
Linky Live #ABitOfEverything @agentspitback @MrsGrohl14
Week 20 TY
linky 3-11-16 #FabFridayPost
linky 3-11-16 #FabFridayPost