Waking Up is Hard, With You

I don’t know about you, but this US-based Yiddishah momma isn’t sleeping so hot. The chaos of the world, the tweeter-in-chief, the backward direction of history, and the fears of a horrid times repeating all leave me with angst, anxiety and some pretty hefty carry-on baggage under the eyes these days. Nightmares, daymares, heart palpitations… oy vey iz mir.

a parody on Neil Sedaka’s lyrics, “Breaking up is Hard to Do”

we stupid huge win win
we stupid huge win win
Drumpf schlumpy trump dump trump
Drumpf schlumpy trump dump trump
Waking up is hard, with you
Don’t take my rights away from me
You’re breaking laws and changing history
Jamming justice, we know it’s true
Waking up is hard, with you
Looking back, phone alerts were much less scary
With just one tweet, you spooked the military
It’s Mueller time, the grand review
Waking up is hard, with you
They say that waking up is hard, with you
Now I know
I know we’re all screwed
Imploding health care and refugee bans
Are all of your decisions based on the teeny-tiny size of your hands?
I beg of you, stop the racist crap
Vlad, just share with us the wire tap
Global warming, it’s making me blue
Waking up is hard, with you
They say that waking up is hard, with you
Now I know
I know we are screwed
‘Murica should not be run by a business man
Are all of your decisions based on the teeny-tiny size of your hands?
we stupid huge win win
we stupid huge win win
Drumpf schlumpy trump dump trump
Drumpf schlumpy trump dump trump
Waking up is hard, with you
I don’t understand what is happening in our world. Ikh ton nit farshteyn voz iz gesheenish in aundzer velt.
Okay, if you would like to hear the real version of this ‘borscht belt’ singer and writer, click below, courtesy of our friends at YouTube:

      

     

      

BHI, our happy place

Still energized and grateful for these wonderful memories of our holiday together.  Thank you, Nona and Pop Pop! Bald Head Island, NC. 

A nice holiday with family! A fayn ium tub mit mishpocheh!

     

      

    

 

A Midsummer Day and Night’s Performance

Big and her buds, preparing before the show.

This past weekend, my kinder (children) participated in our annual tradition, the Dance Recital. All year long, my shana maidelehs (sweet girls) have been studying ballet, and Big has added jazz to her repertoire. My Mrs., she too was central to the studies, as the chief shlepper (hauler, dragger) and nosherie (snack provider) to our mini prima’s.

If you can ever imagine me, at my very happiest space, it’s watching my kinder do what they love, and they do love to dance, in full regalia on stage. Kvelling (beaming with pride) and grinning until my punim (face) hurts, I am. It’s the tahkeh (absolute, certain) truth.

This year, the Wissahickon Dance Academy presented Shakespeare’s, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The choreography was so beautiful. The talent, remarkable. They really put on an awesome production. After, all of the other forms of dance performed. Jazz, hip-hop, tap, modern — it was naches (the satisfaction gained from life’s gifts) for everyone in the audience.

Last night, I asked my kinder about the show and what A Midsummer Night’s Dream was about. Here is what they said:

Little: It’s about a donkey and an umm, queen and a king. And what was Z in the second show? Oh yeah, the queen’s daughter. And a man who turns into a donkey and fairies and umm, and an umm, wood sprites. ‘Cause that’s what (Big) was, a wood sprite. I liked when the donkey, who was really Jakiel, eats the grass and when he was really funny with the audience.

Big: So there’s a Queen, Titania, and she has a husband and they get in a big fight. Puck comes and, the husband, he asked Puck if he can borrow these magic flowers that if you sprinkle them on someone, the first person they see, they will fall in love with. You have to do it to people only while they are asleep. And so, he umm, he did it on Titania — sprinkled the flower stuff. And then, these actors come out, and Puck grabs one of them and gives him a donkey head. He (the Donkey) scares all the actors away. And then, he accidentally trips over Titania. She wakes up and falls in love with the donkey because of the flower magic. She was supposed to fall in love with her husband, but they had a big fight about their daughter. Then, I know! They both (Titania and the Donkey) go to sleep and then the husband has the magic flower and he sprinkles it on Titania and she wakes up and falls madly in love with him again. Puck comes on and takes the donkey head away, and that is all I know. Ohhh, and the whole thing, it was the Donkey-headed guy’s dream! That’s why he scratched his head at the end.

I asked them, what was the best part of being in the recital?

Big: I just love dancing. I liked the flowers on my costume, and I liked how the bottom was like a tutu, and I liked the wings.

Little:  I really like twirling, twirling a lot.

The littles of the elementary ballet! Too cute, these kinder!

In Act II, my Little, she danced with her elementary ballet class to Once Upon a Dream from Sleeping Beauty. Big, she was an orphan in Annie, dancing with her class in jazz 1 to, Hard Knock Life

Big: I loved it. It was fun because I love Annie, I love that song, it is fun to pretend to be orphans and that dance is just fun.

Little: My dance was from sleeping beauty. I don’t know what it was about, but I got to twirl. I liked the roses on my costume and twirling. I liked when (Big) danced with the bucket and slammed it on the floor too.

All in all, I was beaming. And for two shows, a couple of hours each, I actually forgot about the mishegas (craziness) that is happening in our world. Such a simcheh (joyous occasion) I wish for all of you!

Thank you for letting me go on about my kinder today.

       

      

      

      

 

I AM WOMAN, the musical

Nu? This mr t, he has me farklempt (all choked up) with his evil and hatred. Not too long ago, I wrote a post, I AM WOMAN HEAR MY VOICE. Well, I’ve taken it to the stage folks. Please, bear with my (awful) voice as I stumble through my own, personal feminist anthem.

Please feel free to sing along. If only to cover up my voice! Vey iz mir…I’m meshuggeneh (crazy), but I am so motivated to peacefully make a change. Because Never Again, is now folks. 

Great big hugs and love to Mackenzie for her gorgeous participation and support! And Kristin, where would I be without the bug you put in my ear? And to all of you brave, men, women and children who showed up, and continue to show up in protest. That’s what I’m sayin.’
Why’d I do it? Well, I am trying hard to teach my kinder (little kids) to be brave, not perfect.
Hey, mr t, I Am Woman, and you, little orange man, are going to have to deal with that!
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Vaginas, Muslims, Mac-n-Cheese, and Polar Bears

My mighty girls...
My mighty girls…We fight for you and all the kinder (children)

I am one scared Yiddeshah momma these days. I am literally swimming in shpilkas (nervous in my gut) over the tsuris (troubles) mr T has caused our world in just twelve days of domination, deception, and lawlessness.

If you have a vagina, if you care about the ingredients in the foods you and your kinder (kids) eat, the water you drink, if you believe in religious freedoms and equality or cannot shake the image of the emaciated polar bears, please show up.

mr T, he began spewing the darkest, most Machiavellian mantra of inaugural messaging, while his minions behind the scenes stripped the White House website (and our people) clean of all of the hope and justice created during the Obama administration.

Rapidly putting pen to papers, he began to disassemble the accomplishments and freedoms for the people of this country, my country. The sick and underprivileged are now at risk. Healthcare is in limbo. Women’s rights, LGBT rights, and civil rights have shuddered.  He has thrown out hard facts and true science, sacrificing the environment for our kinder (children) and their kinder  —  all slashed with the click of a pen, held in his tiny, little, creepy hands.

He placed a gag order on the EPA. We no longer need to know what is in our food, our water; what spills in our riverbeds and oceans. He reopened the oil pipelines. 

And on Holocaust Remembrance Day, very late in the daily news cycle, he went above and beyond draconian, incomprehensible behavior. mr T, he banned all Muslims from seven majority Muslim nations, and all fleeing refugees from entering our sanctuary country.

This unprecedented, diabolical action is clear, plain as day, religious persecution. mr T’s deeds defy our American values and places us all in grave danger. He is setting the stage for his campaign promise of a Muslim registry. The indecency of this magnitude has happened before in the world. It all began with words of hate. Never again.

@POTUS44 and @MichelleObama, please stay close to us, for the clocks of history are quickly bending backward in time.

mr T, know that I wish you no ill will. I want you to leave the White House, but unless a bigger, bolder gig awaits you, I doubt this will happen. I will go back to my Yiddish ancestry and offer you up a bissel shiltn (little curse).

May you either have to use the toilet every three minutes or every three months. May ir oder hobn tsu nutzn di klozet yeder drey minut oder yeder dray khdshim.

I sure hope you have good healthcare mr T.  A yiddishah curse, is like no other!

What if we were to make him a new curse, reflecting modern times? Something along the lines of:

May your dictatorial acts, racist, anti-Semitic, and misogynistic views haunt you as your offspring marry a Jew (check), a Muslim, and a member of the LGBT community.

May you be more careful when you make those faces when you speak the words of puppet-master Bannon, because like all momma’s say, your face will freeze that way.

May your fortune grow and grow and grow, to incomparable levels of wealth and riches. And may the next Democratic president, elected 4 years from now, tax the f*cking shi*t out of you and the gazillionaire friends of yours who line your cabinets.

I must say, this curse making is quite fun. Why don’t you try it? Please, send me your creative thoughts and ideas!

Stay strong my friends. Our voices and actions matter more now than ever before. One need not be a lefty-liberal to know that hate has no home in these Unites States. We must proudly and strongly have the courage to stand up and say, “Never again.”

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Mary Tyler Moore taught me the “F” word

You're gonna make it after all...
You’re gonna make it after all…

Yes, she did. The ‘F’ word in question is feminist, and she was the first  feminist for this alta kocker (old fart) of a baby boomer, to witness and learn from, on TV. She very easily and seamlessly showed the world, and young madelahs (girls) like me yes I was a young kinder, that you can be a woman and do things differently. It was okay.

As a little pisher (kid), I grew up admiring and dreaming of becoming ‘Mary Richards.’ I know, you’re thinking, Mary, she’s a shiksah (non-jew) with a cute little turned up nose… and me, a Yiddisheh momma? Well, at the start of every episode, she tossed that hat up into the air, and knew, she was ‘gonna make it after all.’  She was a smart, single woman in the ’70’s, living alone and carrying a big job at WJM-TV. She demanded respect, and was incredibly kind. A true mensch (good person). Once, she bumped into her desk, and actually said, “excuse me.” I’ve done that. Really! I have channeled Mary Richards and her kindness, and I have brought the Rule of Kind to our home.

I remember the very first episode, when she interviewed for the job of TV producer. Mr. Grant (Ed Asner) was giving her a real tough time and she flat-out stood her ground and stated that he should be asking her about her qualifications, not her personal life. Zing! Ah-ha moment. Click. Save.

Over the seven years her show spanned, she taught me about equal pay (and we are still fighting that fight) for women in the workplace, birth control, being single and having sex, not conforming to society’s view of women — married with children, dressing differently (yes, the very first member of the pantsuit nation), mixing skirts, dresses, and pants in her wardrobe both for work and for play. All the while, I baby sat and ich macht a labent (made a living), as pint-sized pishers did. Click. Save.

As I mourn Mary Tyler Moore, and Mary Richards, I sure hope she meets up with Chuckles the Clown in the big TV studio in the sky. Perhaps one of the funniest episodes ever, Chuckles Bites the Dust, where Mary really lost her sh*t couldn’t contain herself. He worked down the hall from the studio and was killed by a rogue elephant when he was dressed as Peter Peanut. The gang kept relentlessly making jokes and Mary was appalled. Then at the actual funeral, the sermon began it finally hit her and she laughed louder and heartier then ever before. It was comedic genius and showed fear of the ever after simultaneously.

*Video courtesy of You Tube

Mary, wherever you are, I hope you can laugh. For your life looked easy to us, but it was much harder than ever imagined. Go find Chuckles, and laugh, and know that you made a real difference in the world that is so very important today, especially today, in 2017. RIP MTM, and thank you for your wisdom, comedy, and insight.

The only true dead, are tose who have been forgotten.  di bloyz ams toyt, zenen di vas hobn shoyn fargesn. 

Long live on Mary…

L’Chiam! To Life!

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We Showed Up

Photo courtesy of @lora_percy
Photo courtesy of @lora_percy

The many faces of resistance came out in numbers

People of all ages formed a sea of pink kitty hats

Too many held signs of disbelief that they were still protesting the same old shit

We stood, stopped in our tracks, due to the numbers that showed

We chanted, we sang, we hugged, we peacefully gathered

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The battle had just started, but something significant had changed

There was no anger

There was energy and unity

We were filled with love and positivism

We came ready to be visible

And this was just the beginning

From cities across the globe (yes, the globe), we showed up

And we are not going away

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My kinder, Little and Big, marched with the Mrs. and me

Later, I asked what was your favorite part about your very first protest?

Big: “I liked taking the train.”

Little: “I liked getting sushi at the food court for lunch.”

Big: “I liked standing up high on the trash cans, dancing and seeing everyone.”

Little: “Yeah, I liked that too!”

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The whole world isn’t crazy! Di gantseh velt iz nit meshugeh!

 

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