Hi all. It’s time for a little parody. Yesterday, it was my Coronation Day! I got a new crown. Well, not so much like the one Elsa got… mine was more in tune with the rather labor intensive dental version… Please read this along with the tune, “For the first time in forever,” from everyone’ fave, Frozen.
Thank you, Disney!
Hey, Queen!
[Anna:]
The pain is tremendous, I can’t ignore
My ear, jaw, and neck have gone to war
Who knew how much pain a tooth can generate?
For years I’ve dealt with pain pitfalls
Hit me with more, I’ve got the balls
Finally, I will deteriorate!
Dr. A!
Dentists are actually real live people
They can be totally strange
I’ve never been more ready for a change!
‘Cause for the first time in forever
There’s some novocaine in sight
Though I’d rather it be never
I’ll be staring right at that bright light
Can’t tell if I’m scared shitless or gassy
And I’m sure I’ll soon be broke
‘Cause no matter how or whatever
A root canal’s no joke!
I can’t wait ’til this tooth is all done!
I’d really rather… go and have some fun
Well, here she is, my crown. A Dental Tiara!
Trying to fathom this crown and all
Doctors appointments are no windfall
Where’s ‘plan B’ for problems just in case?
Starting to feel the numb kick in
Beginning to drool right down my chin
This gives new meaning to meeting face-to-face
And then I walk back into my life
Which is totally bizarre
I feel like I’ve been hit with a crowbar
‘Cause for yet another time in this forever
There’s more novocaine in sight
Though I’d rather it be never
My endodontist is a delight! (a true mensch)
My thoughts are just totally crazy
When I think of this circumstance
And for the first time in forever
I’ll give the lottery a chance
[Elsa:]
Your roots are gone, your tooth is dead
Get that vision of your Visa bill out of your head
Stay numb, don’t feel, don’t let them know
For others, this would be fixed with a good Bordeaux
[Elsa:] But it’s only a few a months
[Anna:] It’s only a few months
[Elsa:] The pain you’re in’s a drain
[Anna:] The pain you’re in’s a drain
[Elsa:] Tell the doc’s your budget ain’t champagne
[Anna:] Ain’t champagne
[Anna:] For another time in this forever
[Elsa:] Stay numb, don’t feel, don’t let them know
[Anna:] I’m gonna wear a crown
[Elsa:] Remember, for some it would be solved with a Bordeaux
[Anna:] I’m gonna wear a crown!
[Elsa:] Stay numb, don’t feel
[Anna:] A chance to wear a crown!
[Elsa:] You’re no champagne
[Anna:]
I know it will finally be over,
So it doesn’t have to be today
‘Cause no matter how or whatever
how or whatever…
A Crown will make my day!
Yiddish Proverb:
When a toothache comes, you forget your headache. Az es kumt tsonvaitik fargest men kopvaitik.