The Big Dig

Detective Gatsby is on it, again. Readers of this space, you know very well, that something ‘a-fowl’ has been going on in our community. Long ago, the Great Gatsby uncovered many a capon caper, finding bones, breasts, thighs, and wings, scattered and strewn about on our daily constitutionals. Sometimes, with his mighty schnoz, he would locate bbq sauce or ketchup, even fries to accompany his hidden haul. If you are new here, please stay, have a little nosh (something to eat), enjoy yourself proceed with caution. The paltry poultry that has been uncovered is not for the faint of heart.

I know I smell chicken. I know it. It’s in the air. I will find you…

Courageous as all-get-out, secure in his forensic anthropology degree, and led by his hunger for justice and all things edible, even the most disgusting and vile things you can imagine while walking outdoors, G has been sinking his teeth happily habitually into brand new evidence. He now knows why all of the chicks want so desperately to cross the road nirvana and why the caged birds sing tweet.

As you can see, G has been participating in The Big Dig, only to uncover glass, bottle caps, material, empty bags of chips, plastic straws, and yes, chicken bones. Oy, my yard… don’t get me started…

Apparently, right in our own backyard, there has been a major unearthing of evidence. It is all beginning to make sense. The dirt is there yes, that is our mess of a yard from our four-legged boychick (little sweet boy). While uncovering the cadavers of said cockerels is his favorite pastime, G has realized the problem is bigger than (cooked) birds and their petty parts. While focussing primarily on pullet and cock-a-doodle-doo, even Gatsby realizes the real tsuris (trouble) in town is L-I-T-T-E-R.

Some findings… pretty disgusting of us

Philadelphia, in many ways, is and has been ‘Philth-adelphia’. Clean, they are not. Untidiness is all too often a way of life by too many who have seemingly bypassed trash cans mothers and Kindergarten lessons, leaving a trail of drek (trash, detritus), Hansel and Gretl style, in their wake. Litter begets litter. Trash begets trash. What kind of shlemiel (loser) has the chutzpah (balls, nerve) to leave their crap for others?

So my Mrs. and me, we have taken to grabbing an extra bag full of bits and scraps as we saunter about our shtetl (‘hood, village) walking our boychik. With Little and Big in tow, we are furthering the valuable lessons of rubbish removal and how we can be grateful for and feel good about a clean neighborhood. Further research us bloggers thrive on this stuff reveals a movement in Sweden where we may be headed should the midterms turn to sh*te called Plogging. This Nordic influence is as amazing as IKEA and is beginning to take the world by storm (btw: IKEA just opened in India this week), spreading to the UK, Germany, France, Thailand and hopefully here in the US too.

Plogging: Scandinavian word meaning to pick up litter while jogging in groups, making is socially fun and fantastically praise-worthy. This word comes from the fusion of the Swedish words “plocka” (picking [up]), and “jocka” (jogging). See, more than just Yiddish here!

So, for a while now, as we are out an about, walking the boychik, picking up his poop, we also shlep (drag, haul) and bag the drek of others, in hopes of beautifying the community and raising the bar on the ‘dump and run attitude (addy-tude in Philly slang)’ of our brethren. Thank you, Sweden!

Spent, after a full day of sleuthing, eating, pooping and plogging. Gei shluffin (go to sleep) Gatsby

Whose with me? Let’s go plogging! Alevei! It should only happen!

Yiddish Proverb:

In a good apple, you sometimes find a worm. In a shainem epel gefint men a mol a vorem.

 

Rant, shmant…what to do about litter? Week 10

It's not like there is another planet we can go to
It’s not like there is another planet we can go to

Shhhhhh. She’s in therapy again. Help her.

Today at lunch I walked around and could not believe the dreck (crap, trash) I found

Just a little jaunt to breathe fresh air; feel the sun on my back and the wind in my hair

For spring had landed in Philadelphia – I wanted to stroll; feel a bit healthia’

The neighborhood, a very desirable place, had so much trash, it was a disgrace

I won’t belabor or beat this dead horse; rather let me show you as a matter of course:

whoever did this, shlepped (carried) it along lonng enough to drink it all
Shlepped (carried) it along long enough to drink it all, you nogoodnik!
You mean you can add littering to your bad choices?
Wonderful, add littering to your bad choices!
Recycling, not much?
Recycling, not so much. Kish mir en tuchis (kiss my ass butt)!
Sucha big macher (big shot) you are, Mr. Cigar. Such chazzerai (garbage, pig slop)
Such a big macher (big shot) you are, Mr. Cigar. Tidy, you are not.
May all your teeth fall out, except one, so that you can have a toothache.
Such schmutzik (filth) everywhere?
First, you eat bread made from yoga mats, now you do this? Feh!
Eat bread made from yoga mats, then you litter? Feh!
A shonda (shame) to toss a childs toy aside
A shonda (shame) to toss a toy aside, like chazzerai (pig slop)

Such a mess, this is tantamount to; people, I gotta’ ask? Who raised you?

Please all you folks who live out there, teach der kinder (the kids) well, make them aware.

 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin, or right here on WordPress! 

 

linky 3-25-16 #FabFridayPost Linky #24
linky 3-25-16 #FabFridayPost Linky #24